When they were passing out brains, you thought they said trains, and you said "Nah, I'll catch the next one"
You're about as sharp as a bowling ball
Black holes are brighter than you

That went over like a fart in church

I'm sweatin like 3 fat chicks in a phone booth

Don't let your shotgun mouth, overload your bb gun butt

Oh, I can't believe I forgot this one. Again, to the credit of my West Virginia Marine named Gunnery Sergeant Hensley.....

It's hotter than a pedophile in a Barney suit!

It's gonna be hard to beat that one. I think Paul should vote for the top 3.

I'm so broke,I can't fart and get a scent.
That's queer as a footballbat.

he doesn't know whether Christ was crucified or shot in the a$$ with a BB gun
can't tell Sheet from applebutter, unless he can taste them both
she's double barreled boneyard butt ugly
the difference between him and a bucket of sheet, the bucket!
If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave his a$$ and learn him to walk backwards
busier than a 1 armed paper hanger with crabs
busy as a 1 legged man at an azz kickin contest
she's so ugly she could pull her teeth and go trick-or-treatin as an azzhole
when ya get to old to cut the mustard....lick the jar
that went over like a turd in the punchbowl
If they took your brain out, shoved it up a bluebirds azz, looked at it through a microscope, it would look like a bb rolling around in a boxcar.
He's so ugly his mamma use to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him
her cookin is so bad for dessert ya grab the cat, lick his azz to get the taste outta your mouth
I better quit!!!
RR

If you balanced her brain on a razor blade, it would look like a bb on a four lane highway!!!

He's so tight you couldn't slip a greased bb up his.

don't just stand there like you're being milked

todays politicians are so crooked, they don't bury them, just screw'em in the ground when they die.
If he ain't got the first dollar he ever made, he's got what he bought with it
RR

Happier than a tick on a fat dog.

Busier than a man tying up sand with bailing wire.
He don't know sheet from shoe polish till you look at his boots.
He is so tight he wouldn't pay a nickel to see a pissant eat a bale of hay.

hes off, like a thundering herd of turtles

Don't stand there like a cow looking at a new gate.

Sorry, Paul...the dollar signs didn't quite cover it enough. I'll be more tasteful.

Butt opened up like a 50 cent suitcase.

He's so cheap...he wouldn't spend a nickel to see an earthquake.

It hotter than Tobeys a$$

It's so foggy out...the birds are walking !!!

Sweating like a pregnant Nun going to confession.

We're off....like a prom dress

His truck wouldn't pull a greasy string out of a cats arse!