Went to a 90th birthday for a lady I worked with at the youth academy many years ago. She’s pretty sharp still for her age she seems to comprehend and follow along a conversation. Talked to few of the residence one seemed to be able to hold a conversation until she started repeating everything and asking the same questions over and over. Reminded me of my in-laws and the cycle they went through in life.

Another lady came over and talked like we knew each other for many years I can’t remember ever even meeting her in the past so this must of come from her working with my wife in the past. The shocker was when she said I could come over some night and offered me her number. Told her I forgot my phone then I remembered why I don’t go to these things.

This was assisted living I know nursing homes are even more impacted by similar issues not looking forward to any of that hope to drop on the line when the time comes.

Forgot your phone? Old gal just wanted one more happy memory. Where is your compassion for the elderly?

yes, jerry I don't look forward to that time in life, sure hope it's a long way off, we have 3 uncles in there 90s all still doing pretty darn good,

I’ll send her your number you can swing by the next time your heading down the interstate.

my great aunt turned 90 last June , she is still very mobile and as long as she doesn't get frustrated she is very sharp mentally.
will putter around the yard all day doing chores. Lives alone in the summer with a very busy social calendar of county league baseball games , people coming to visit and church events but no longer drives outside the township.
She spends winters with her daughter because her place is in the woods with a lot of snow.

she doesn't do anything over the phone with any sort of phone , tv or internet provider that just frustrates her to the point of stuttering.

my grandma on the other side just turned 90 2 weeks ago , physically doing well has a wheeled walker but only needs it occasionally from what I can tell but they have her pushing it around.
she lives at an assisted living facility. there are movies and games and she doesn't live on the memory care side of the building
but her mind is that of about a 8-10 year old with lots of some memory and lots of muscle memory.
happy like a kid at never ending summer camp where family visits every week a couple times.
It's weird having your mom introduce your grandma to you , " Mom , this is Pete , my son your grandson , he is here to visit you , his grandma" , like I said it's weird but I am just glad she seems happy and well adjusted to the forgetful
it is sad but I am glad she is a happy well adjusted kid at camp , it definitely beats my aunt V's mom who was an angry combative dementia who had to be put in a not so nice place and died in not all that long. unfortunately her last days were more like prison than summer camp.


my dad told me already after watching all this and dealing with it very first hand , if he goes into some sort of care facility beyond assisted living , he plans to refuse any of his blood thinners or anything and should have a heart attack in short order or an infection that takes him in a few days.

It was just strange they did not seem confused and they could come back with any answer to a question but after they kept asking the same questions for the “first time” every few minutes then you figure out what’s going on.

Reminds me of the song glory days reliving the best of their live that’s what they still have I guess it was a pleasure talking with them I worked with a lot of their relatives or knew them from the community.

My wife and I used to visit an old friend whose family had put him in a memory care center. Those poor folks practically fought over who could steal the other's company. Most don't get many visits from family or friends. One old boy was telling me that he used to be a starting running back on the Oregon Ducks football team. I googled him up later and found that he had made the winning touchdown for the Ducks in the 1956 Rosebowl. And now...forgotten, stuck in old folks home and not visited or cared about by anybody really. Once a local legend.

Best way to stay out of there is to eat healthy, watch your weight, and exercise. Weight training as you age is also very important. Loss of strength leads to lack of balance, which results in poor mobility. My mom has been active her whole life and is 89 and great shape. My dad was sedentary and ended up bed ridden for 2 years before he passed. I have seen both close up and I know which path I am going to try and emulate. If you have time to watch an hour of TV, you have time to walk a couple of miles on the treadmill!

If you ever hunt with me you will find out quickly what one of those I am.

For some reason I have always had a lot of compassion for old people. I am not all that far off from being one myself.
Even as a young boy, I would spend the time to listen to what they had to say. They have been there and done that. They possess a lot of information that you won't find anywhere else.
My mother-in-law is 86 and is going through some serious memory loss issues. My father-in-law is doing his best to take care of her, but he is 87 and isn't in the best of health physically.
They live 900 miles away, but they have 2 sons nearby and my wife and I take turns going out there to spend time with them to help my FIL.
She has the roughest time with her memory early and late in the day. She has to be reminded of who we are, but catches on pretty fast. My FIL tells her, "This is your POS son-in-law." That snaps her out of it right quick and she starts laughing so hard she just about pees her pants. That makes my, and everyone else's day to hear her laugh.
She realizes what's going on with her and makes her angry. She used to volunteer to help old people with health and memory issues, but now she's the one who needs help, but she is not happy about it.
She has rough days which breaks my FIL's heart. I tell him to think of a bad spell as a thunderstorm that rolled in out of nowhere, but will soon pass and the sky will clear and the sun will shine and the birds will chirp. That is usually how it goes with her.
I also told him to take special notice and make note of all of the good parts of the days and let that fill that hole in your heart.
He is finally taking that advice to heart and seems to be taking it better. It's still too much for him, but he is letting us help him.
My wife is taking early retirement and is going to move out there with them to help him out. Our goal is to be able to keep them in their house as long as we can.

This is one of the most awesome posts I've read on here in awhile. In this sorry day and age so many people "can't be bothered" to take care of aging relatives... they have their "careers" after all.... so just stick them in a home, even when they all live in the same town. Not only is your wife retiring early to care for them, she's also leaving you behind so she can. That's an ultimate sacrifice to care for aging parents. And even more amazing is you seem to approve of her moving up there to care for them.

I don't know you other than from your posts on here over the years, but God bless you and your wife both for the sacrifices you're making for your family!

My Doc told me when I had that head fog issue from my high A1C that long term memory and short term memories are not the same they can be impacted differently so you can remember the past but not much in the moment a short time later. I struggled with simple math during that head fog time but that has cleared up after the fog cleared up.

LIn the same boat

I bought the house across the street from me for my mother. She uses an electric wheelchair. My son and me built a ramp so she can go to the community building, local coffee gathering, library etc. She has a wheel chair van but quit driving awhile back. My youngest daughter lives there too. One of us drives her now. She is in the hospital right now. Wife took her for a checkup a few days ago. Ran an EKG and dr said take her to the emergency room. They sent her to Kansas City in an ambulance. Wife and me are going back up there again today. DR wants to talk to us about options. Dont sound good.

Hoping for the best for your mom, Danny.

It's a sad thing to watch and experience,they ain't living but existing . Something to be said for a nice get it over with heart attack....

It's always best when a family can take care of their own, but sometimes these folks need care beyond what most people can do. Always a sad situation.

I worked in nursing homes for 14 years, most are just dumped off there and never seen again, saddest place ive ever been in this life. Just a warehouse for old folks is all they are. I had the duty of disposing of personal belongings when they passed, military medals, pictures of them when they were in WW ll on an on, couldn't find a single relative to come get their belongings so it all went to the dump. All this stuff was kept in storage for up to a year! Finally just had to haul it off to make room to store stuff from someone else who had passed.

Dad is almost 96 and his mind is still sharp. Of course he can remember things from 70 years ago better than today at times. He just spent a few miserable days in the hospital, and I noticed when he talked to his roommate about the old days when his Dad bought the farm, his whole face changed, like everything he was currently experiencing fell away and he looked 20 years younger. Old folks talk about those days because they were the good days to them. It's sad that our bodies give up eventually, but really life here is nothing but the moment and memories. I don't expect to live as long, but if I do I hope I still have good memories.