a friend of mine passed Friday
they were in cancer treatment for around a year - year and a half
knew they were terminal with cancer for at least a few months , went downhill fast in the last 2 weeks and passed Friday

had a Will , apparently thought that was enough.

helping her his widow I can tell you It is not enough.

make sure they know the combination to safes , have access to accounts , heck know where accounts are
heck maybe there is a great account out there with money for all the final expenses but she doesn't know about it and that is the issue.

he handled much of the money and honestly I don't think she had any idea he would go from walking into the hospital holding good conversations to minimal responses to yes no questions in a week and unresponsive for the last days then dead in 2 weeks

she took him at his word he was writing things down but didn't test any of it
he has provided for the last 50 years they have been married.
he worked literally up to a few weeks from the end , had a small contracting business work has slowed down but was working between chemo treatments.

anyone need a 2 year old Gold wing with low miles? she is looking for the title then it is probably one of the first of the toys to be sold.

don't leave your wife to sell your goldwing and guns to pay for stuff.
he didn't like debt so most all of the toys were purchased cash he would take on a job make good money on it then turn around and spend much of that.
there was always money when it was needed so I guess she didn't do a lot of asking



now a little good
we hadn't talked much in recent years and he reached out to me asked me to help her sell guns that the family or I didn't want. Told me he had been working on selling some stuff but it was slow and I was just in case the end came sooner than they thought.
I grew up with his son , I was almost a second son
so his son I and another really good friend that hadn't seen each other in a while she calls us her 3 sons we used to do all sorts of stuff together we all worked for him in HS and we were like brothers.
we hadn't seen each other in a while you know kept in touch a little on facebook but everyone raising families you get busy and don't get together.
well we had a good reunion with her and we were all there at the hospital shooting the in the hospital room I hope he could hear us even if he couldn't say anything or even coherent eye blinks , we had gone to eat and back to the house for a while and were having a lot of great joking and stories and stuff when the call from the hospital came. So we were there for her when the call came.
she has us as a support network.
their son lives on the coast for work.

try not to let the final days be the thing that reconnects you

try not to leave the people you love hanging to grieve and deal with your unfinished business at the same time.

try to make it as easy on them as you can with a book of accurate accounts and pass words

Thanks Geencountypete. All good advice. I am struggling through estate work now. If I was still in the factory and not in the business I am now, I'd be lost for sure. None of it is easy...you have to manage the incompetence of others while trying to get your own work done. Don't take bank employees, insurance agents and tax preparers at their word. Speak with professionals instead (lawyers, accountants, etc.)

And the part about not waiting until it's too late is very, very true.
You can't go back and spend more time with someone...that time has been spent. Spend what you have left wisely. Be quick to forgive on the little things. Do some self reflection about whether it's more important to be right than it is to simply love your family and friends.

. Good advice. I put every thing in trust. Got kids already on accounts and safety deposit box. No probate that way.

Revocable Trust for me. Talk to a professional to see what's best for you. Everyone has different needs for their situation.

Make sure your spouse or administrator knows the passwords to your accounts.

I just found out that “standard” power of attorney doesn’t work for social security and they have their own paper you have to fill out.

Trusts and wills aren't worth the paper they are written on if you choose the wrong trustee.

Power of attorney expires immediately after someone passes away. From there the Will dictates or the judge. Another thing, until the death certificate is issued nothing moves forward in the courts. The only things that can move forward are non-probate assets, such as: titles, bank accounts, or anything else that has another name attached. Example, a vehicle with the deceased and another name on the title or a bank account with another name attached.

Florida did not go by my mother's will because she died first and won a law suit I had to give my step brother a sister a cut of the money she had it all going to her Son me!.

My parents died last August, still working to sell properties.

My take away from their will that made me rethink mines are these points. (There's 8 beneficiaries)

First, don't assume people will understand a vague statement.
Example from my parents will.....

My oldest brother was to inherent "the trucks and related equipment.", per the will. We have a trucking company.

Does this mean the trucks, trailers and spare tires/tools along with the property its housed on or just what the will said, the trucks and equipment?
Lawyers said just the trucks and equipment, not the properties.

Lucky for him, we all get along and the rest of us sold him the property for a token amount. The thing I learned from this for my will is, be specific!



The only other point from my parents will that opened my eyes was, who you appoint as executor.

Again, there's 8 of us kids and they picked 4 as executors. No problems with who they picked as we all get along. The lrob!em is two of those have moved away from the area.
This caused problems from the expected such as getting signatures on documents, getting them in person to withdraw accounts, ect. (they can opt out and still receive the executor compensation)

In conclusion, I'm glad I wasn't an executor, but wish some weren't simply because of where they lived for two reasons....one, having documents signed and two, they were out of touch of the local economy. What they thought was cheap was outrageous here, ect.

My will is being reviewed, not because I want things to go elsewhere, but to make it easier on the kids!

I've put my daughter on the deed to my property so it can seamlessly to her. It's paid off. Other than that, most of the things I own are of sentimental value I want to divy up among grandkids and friends...guns, antiques, etc..

if your terminal , please stop hiding guns
and find the ones you did hide and put them where they will be found or maybe a treasure map.
a list with make model SN# and who you want to have them would be lovely.

better yet start gifting them to people who you think will enjoy them before you pass.

so it did make us "boys" ( we are all late 40s) work together not that we ever had a problem with that although it had been a few years , but each of us had pieces to the puzzle no one has all the pieces combined we are missing pieces
that was like an adult Easter egg hunt..

trust???...... easy and no probate.........

I made a "drop dead" file

Has every account number and password that I know of

Bank, utilities, safe combo, etc

Have a will as well

True, but a trust is only as good as the executor named in it. No matter how “ironclad” it is done.

Money and power can do crazy things to people. I’m battling one now.

Osky

Good Read

that is an excellent Idea

I have a file with all the important papers
I should add a drop dead document/file add to it.

I think probate is something most people have a fear of because they really dont understand what it is. Probate is simply the legal term used to settle an estate. An estate is everything owned by an individual at the time of his/her death. A proper Will makes the legal process run smoothly and is almost always simply signed by a judge without any issues.

My brothers and I are in the middle of settling up my parents estate. They had a revocable trust and everything was in order. One brother has handled it because he dealt with similar things in his career. Even when things are done responsibly it is very complicated and the govt is gonna want their share. My takeaway from it all is get an estate attorney and a good accountant to help when you need advise. Their expertise is in avoiding or delaying taxes.

"My oldest brother was to inherent "the trucks and related equipment.", per the will. We have a trucking company.

Does this mean the trucks, trailers and spare tires/tools along with the property its housed on or just what the will said, the trucks and equipment?
Lawyers said just the trucks and equipment, not the properties"

Words matter in death....friend gave his cabin and property to his caretaker, but left out the contents part of the house and shed. Which I believe he wanted her to have. Executor cleaned out the house and shed of contents, had his "babies" in the safe, 1 of 300 Parker sided by side and other Parkers and LC Smiths. Five of the shotguns had value of over $50k, let alone the Winchester rifles of who knows the value. Entire collection was sold to Cabela's for pennies on the dollar probably. Words matter........