Why do they think respect should be given and not reciprocated?
And even go as far to tell me that if a certain person doesn't receive. It will make him mad.
I just asked him , if he felt that way. Then way didn't he come to me. He just shrugged his shoulders.
Now mind you, he was given over $1.5 million in assets about two years ago. Not inherited. All he had to do was marry the landowners daughter.
Folks, respect is a two way street. From this landowner that know as well. My wife and i didn't receive a call, flowers or even a card from him or the daughter and son inlaw. When our daughter passed away. So, with that said. I don't go out of my way to speak or wave.

What's your honest opinion?

Sarge

Theres different kinds of respect...and none if them are reciprocal

sounds like the person youre referring to is a bit self-entitled. .

That's how I take. Was he warning me? Hope not. I don't want trouble. But, if it comes calling. Then all options are viable. I'm always nice until I'm not.
Sarge

Common courtesy and common sense are dying out. Unfortunately at a faster pace with each passing day.......

I think you’re bitter that he got an easy way to $1.5 million.

You must be in that age group to say that. Anyone would be thrilled to have been given that. But, as you normally do. You missed the point. RESPECT is a two way street.
At my age. I do not owe anyone nothing nor do i have to prove anything to anyone.
So, if he wants to have his panties in a wad. So be it. Don't go looking for trouble and when finds you. Don't cry about.
A few things about us old guys. We don't look or want trouble. But be warned. Old veterans don't fight fair and we don't care. Simply said.
Sarge

I'm not catching what your relationship is with this 35 year old man, but unless it's important, why deal with him at all. Just forget he exists.

Keith

You sure seem upset about something, enough to make a vague post here complaining about a random age group. As a 35 year old, I hope you find happiness.

Neighbor. Hard to avoid.

Is he the kind to keep nudging the fence/property lines over on YOUR side?

I'm gòod. Folks need to mind their own business , because i don't look for trouble. So, it's best others don't as well.
Don't tell what me what i should be doing because your( the young man) butt hurt. I've earned my right to live in peace.
Sarge

Don't give him any space in your head. As long as he stays off your property and doesn't make trouble for you, ignore him. You don't have to like your neighbors. Just forget he's there. What he does on his property is no real business of yours and vice versa.

What do you have to interact with him on?

Keith

there are self absorbed and narcosistic people of every age.

they have only thought for what is for them and everything else is invisible.

toss out that people under 35 probably send less than 5 pieces of mail a year that aren't amazon returns

the things people used to do now just don't get done , heck they probably never would have if the wife didn't buy the card and put the stamp on it in many relationships.

social norms are rapidly changing

I missed the point because you aren’t clear what you’re talking about in your first comment. You did make it clear that the guy has, but didn’t earn $1.5 million.

That’s all you were clear about.

The 2nd comment you made is also a very common “talk” that you do and it doesn’t even correlate well to your first comment.

I’ve said it before about you, you’re looking for a fight.

Yep, when he feels butt hurt. Both the former land owner( father in law) and new property owner(son in law).
I'm not materialistic like they are. I want to live out my life with my wife, smoke my cigars, drink my coffee with a little whiskey and shoot my guns. And operate my ADC business and be left alone. Pretty freaking simple in my book.
Sarge

JP. Then it's best to leave me alone. You think!

You sure are a drama queen for some one that wants to be left alone. Always complaining about someone else.

Im 65 and see no merit to what you say. Saying he should marry her for money? You seem to always be harping about someone or something . I think you arent a people person. I wish you well . You asked for opinions then get mad when people offer them and tell them to leave you alone . Hmm... Why post then?

Respect is earned just maybe he doesn't think it has been earned.
Sounds like none of your business to me.

It sounds like you are very angry about your daughter’s death which is normal. It is one of the stages in resolving grief. They are normally in this older - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some stages may occur at the same time or overlap each other or never happen at all. But a person will experience at least most of them. As far as your initial comment, I don’t quite understand it including what the person did to you or if you angry about him not recognizing your daughter’s death or something else.

Man you guys are WAY of base. Correct me if I'm wrong sarge. Over the years you and the neighbors have been cordial . Chatting when meeting, maybe even talked at times. YOUR DAUGHTER passes and you don't even get an acknowledgement of your sorrow. Never met you but I can tell if the shoe was on their foot you and your missus would have taken food. Probably even attended the service.

Been in your shoes with a sibling !! Not a death but underwent a major surgeryand recovery and never was inquired about my condition. We don't speak to this day. I send B-day cards but never get one in return ....

you two need to hug it out.

Thank you. You understand. Some wouldn't get it if it were tattooed on their forehead. I praise the young man for defending his father in law. But, he hasn't earned the right to demand anything from me.
Maybe I'm am (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman). Very good reason not to poke the bear.

Sarge

Naw, I'll pass.

I'm headed outside with an extra dose of Crown in my coffee and a Fat Bottom Betty Gordito. Plus my roses need watering. See! I'm sensitive when left alone..Old Sarge didn't put up with crap in the service or when I wore the badge. And I'm not about to start now.

Sarge

Sarge, folks are different man. Some people don’t know how to pay condolences. Some folks are social, some ain’t. I get what you’re saying, but you’re also telling yourself stories about what might not be the truth because it’s from your perspective only.

Either deal with what you thinking or talk with the guy, lay out what you feel is an issue and be prepared to be wrong, right or somewhere in between.

Think I’d work on that Gordito and enjoy some YOU time for awhile brother.

Was there a previous post to this that I missed? If this is the first then I have no clue what he’s talking about. I had to look back and see if it was someone else’s post because it makes about as much sense as his.
Can someone decipher and explain?

It's better to listen to a wise beggar than a rich fool. :-)

It's worded a bit strange, but I think what happened is this:

Sarge's daughter died, and his neighbor/friend didn't bother to call or send a card or anything. Sarge was hurt by that, and so stopped waving to the neighbor and kind of avoided him. He was then confronted by the guy's son who told him that his father felt that Sarge was being disrespectful, and that that made the son mad.

I think that's the jist of it.

I think when someone as close as a daughter of your neighbor dies, paying respects is expected here in the south. It wasn't really that way up north so I think it could be a regional thing. I understand Sarge on this... why he would be hurt his neighbor didn't even bother to call, and furthermore why he would be mad at his neighbors son getting on him for giving the old guy a cold shoulder afterwards.

Thanks yotetrapper - maybe that explains what's going on. Not much detail provided here so hard to figure it.

Screw 'em

Dead to me

Who cares?

You get the drift. You ain't a goin' ta change him so why try?

I used to have a neighbor behind me for 10 years who was a card carrying grumpy old man. Mean spirited and hateful. Only time he ever spoke to me was just to tick me off.
He passed away suddenly. I didn't offer any condolences to anyone, not even his poor wife who likely deserved better than to be married to that ole boy. I probably should have, but the hate wouldn't let me.
His passing also put me in a precarious position. It was so ingrained in me to hate a neighbor, that after that ole boy kicked the bucket, I was left without a nemesis and felt the need to hate another neighbor who clearly wouldn't deserve it to fill that new void.
I never did establish hate for a different neighbor, but the fact that it crossed my mind to so was disturbing to me.
Hate is a terrible thing.
Here's what I learned from this. Don't hate. Rise above it.

them. I know people like that..I have no use for them

Peace Blessed Peace comes from forgiveness ,do your best ,ask God for the Grace to forgive . It is so sweet .

I lost one of my son's a 16 months old in a wreck when a guy ran a red light back in 07. I recognize your behavior pattern. It took over 4 years before I would say I was mostly stable. I'm also still irritated just slightly about a few things some family said when they tried to be well meaning as irrational as that is all these years later ( mostly one aunt)

Your in the lash out at anything in anger stage. Sure it would have been nice to have them send a card or come to the service. But they didn't have you ever asked them why nope you have not. So you fill in why youself.

I also took a self distructive path for a while. Looking back it's easy to see but at the time it was not.

Your post was harder to understand than coonman and when that was pointed out you lashes out at the poster about that and I expect the same from my post given your current state of mind. I can tell you from experience God heald me up and together even though I was cussing and screaming at him like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum at the time.

It gets easier to function over time but you will never be the same again.

Well, they never had to tell anyone that you should never run a generator or propane heater in your house during a power outage either. Gotta start teaching people again cuz they’re “idiots”, they’re not stupid, they just don’t know…lol

Time has a way of teaching humility. This man is very young. He'll either learn or he won't.

Take the high road and wave every time you meet him. It will be better for you. (I have a neighbor who used to farm my ground. He was very upset when I made the decision to let my nephews farm it. He would never wave and would stare at me every time he went by...and I waved every time. It's only taken ten years, but he has finally came around and waves most of the time, especially if I'm driving a different pickup

Treatin' saints and sinners right
It's a good thing to do all the time
You never know who you're talkin' to
But always know who's watching you
Keep your feet movin' straight down the line - Cody Jinks

Respect is earned, never given for free , he needs to grow up

What Providence said about never being the same. I couldn't talk about my son's death for 10 years. I also relate to your feelings toward neighbors that constantly push property lines to their advantage. Most don't understand what leave a person alone means. And won't till they reach older age. I'm there with you SGT C. Nobody can come to you and demand respect. Respect comes without saying anything.

Sounds like the old man is the grump to me. I don't see how his wealth or age has any affect on this besides your jealousy. Judging from your post history you seem unstable.

Respect is earned not a privilege or a right nor given simply because of status

Thanks Yotetrapper!
Sarge it sounds like y’all weren’t close neighbors to begin with. Actually it sounds like y’all were the type that would put a fence up between the properties just so you couldn’t see each other.
Other than my closest neighbors, I don’t know everyone in my neighborhood or know their business. Of course next door neighbors we know and talk to on a daily basis mainly because of the gang of kids running through the yards on weekends and after school each day.

I have no idea wat is going on here but I'm very sorry about your daughter.