I had a friend come stay with me for a week and I bet she went through a roll of toilet paper everyday and im talking the BIG rolls! A package of toilet paper usually lasts me a couple months. Im glad I aint got a woman living with me permanently, GEEZ!

Trust me, if all it cost you was toilet paper, you did good!!

I agree Bud......

I'm glad I'm not the only one who realizes this! When my now-ex moved in with me I was totally blown away at how fast we were going through the tp. It proves once again something I learned quick... women are expensive. In fact the only reason I'm single now is because I can't afford a girlfriend.

Ya'll sound like my husband.....lol

Consider the alternative.........

They got more goin' on. Consider it an investment.

put a thick telephone book or catalog in the john and hide the tp. aintcha got no raisin,lol

Found this to be so true, I ask the wife why they don't do what men do.

I have, but come on, nobody needs a catcher's mit.

LMBO

I hear a change in diet can cause you to use the bath room more often. I'll bet she wasn't use to eatting possums!

as long as mine keeps picking up road killed coon and fox and mink, I don't care

They don't do what men do cause there's nothin to shake.LMAO

I try to get my wife to drip dry lol

Huntnut, , thats funny right there

I have invented a turbine attached to the toilet paper holder. It powers a good portion of my lighting when women are in the house. While that is not much, it does offset the cost of the product by a bit.

LOL !!

My wife thinks I'm crazy when I confront her about it. Like it's normal to go thru a 24 double roll pak in 2 weeks or something. I've been teaching my little girl 2 pieces for #1 and 3 pieces for #2. Seems to work just fine for the two of us.

When I was a bachelor I would by a 12 pack of the stuff. One roll for January, 1 for February.....

After I was married and had a daughter in the house I learned it was more like 1 roll for Monday, 1 for tuesday........I truely believe that women sit in the can and eat a half a roll at a time.

I bet yer undie- nickers dont last quite so long though hugh?

Thats cause guys use toilet paper strictly for butt wiping,where as women use it for EVERYTHING.Takeing off make up with it probly counts for half the use?Actualy,,I should take that back.I have cleaned my shotgun with it when I ran out of bore patches! LOL

You should see how much they go through when they drink that dang Prune Juice!!!!!

Matt want to trade,my wife goes thru that by herself in 2wks-think its a women thing,she even has to bring it along runnin traps-out fishin,its even in the truck

Wouldn't trade her in a million, well....j/k (I know she gets on here every now and then) I've got a roll of paper in the truck too, been there for 3 years and only half used up.

omg I am cheap , but never once have I counted squares of toilet paper lol lmao

Dang, If you can clean your arse with 3 squares of TP, You must not have hair on your butt to be able to pull that off! lol (unless you shave or wax it) just sayin!

That must be why his nick name is Stinky Fingers?

all hail bic for he made me literally lol laugh out loud

It's been a while since I've spit water on the 'pooter....but that was it right there!

ya lol, thats a good one. i don't need to wrap up like a mummy, but 3 ain't gonna cut it.

I work at a paper company that makes TP, towels, etc. Yall just let your ladies use all they want - it translates into more traps and gear for me once a year.

back in the day ol Mr. Sears and Mr Roebuck put lots of thought and consideration into the reasoning and justification for having such extensive catalogs and the material in which they were printed on ... true pioneers and innovators in the early years of recycling and going green with page 232

My girl is living in Baltimore right now on a job. She left May 15th, since she left ive used exactly 1 roll. She came two weekends ago and went through 2 rolls of TP just being home Thursday through Sunday. I was amazed, and the best part, i got hollered at because i didnt change the roll she left 3 sheets on after i went in for a #1.

It's just paper. The stuff is CHEAP!! 20 rolls at 1,000 sheets to the roll is only $11.99

Ok, I don't want this to go in that direction but guys it is doable, The good 2 or 3 ply charmin does the job with 3 sheets per. Bic and Upstate, I appreciate your sence of humor, but really, 12" of TP should be enough, Unless you have a really FAT @zz, Bic.....TBC

You young bachelor types just don't get it. If there is nobody else in the house, you should schedule your eating so you are pooping at the job. Pap always said "there's nothing like getting paid by the your to take a dump!".

i can get by with 4 sheets and a couple neat folds. My wife and daughter wrap their hands like boxing gloves to just to dry off.

LOL!! Boxing gloves ! I've refered to them as mittens before but I like the boxing glove mental picture !

i have 16 employees, most are gals, at least once a month/6 weeks i have to buy paper towels/tp,, its about 300.00 to 350.00 every time.

At least he uses 3 or 4 sheets to wipe, and not a bowl of water and his left hand. LMAO

To be honest, I never counted the little squares when I wipe. I just pull off a strip a foot or so long. Fold, Wipe, inspect and repeat as needed. If it happens to be a dump that is like axel grease, Clean up might be a bit more extensive. In corn season, 3 squares just might do it. It is what it is!

I thought he was going to say he used the dried cobs

[quote=bic] I just pull off a strip a foot or so long. Fold, Wipe, inspect and repeat as needed.quote]

Oh, so you are a folder.........

LOL! Is this thread archive material ?

Maybe the Wildcraft forum ?

If you don't like the TP usage in your house invest in a Bidet. I am sure that little stream of water is giong to clean ya up nicely. Thing is I don't complain how much paper is used in my house. As long as you are clean and I don't have to de-strip your undeies prior to washing them use a fist full as far as I am concerned. Nothing worse then racing striped undies.

Really? You mean not everyone has the skid marks?

This is probably the most hilarious thing I've heard/read/seen in a long time!

Yep, 160, I am man enough to admit...I am a Folder! Isn't anything nastier than a breach in the TP barrier, then having to clean out under your fingernails! I FOLD and play it safe!

No 160 stripes and skid marks are not an object to be proud of. Disgusted, embarresed, fearful, all come to mind, but not pride.

Well at least you can say ya got'a little tail

By the way Bic, ain't you a nail biter?

There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.

Half way there he said, "man i really gotta take a dump." he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.

While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said "There is no tolet paper... You have wipe your butt with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you."

Well, he had no choice so he wiped his butt with his fingers and stuck them out the hole.

All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers.

The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.

If you have to wipe, you ain't got enough cheese in your diet.

I bet you guys who count squares and are overly conscious of the exact usage per wipe recycle the ripped off squares when encountered with the befuddled predicament known as the clean mystery wipe where absolutely no evidence of what just occurred exist ... how does that happen anyway? do you hang on to those squares or do you sacrifice 3 squares and deal with the anguish??? lol

I don't really keep a tally but as a chic I would think a roll a day is abit much! My lord did she wear 4 inch thick make up!?

I will let you in on the secret to using the "mountain money" from an MRE. First, fold the little wad of TP into 1/4's like this...


Next, cut off one corner but do NOT throw it away.....


Stick your middle finger through the hole and clean out your tailpipe with it. Drag the TP off your finger to clean it and discard.



Now, use the little corner to clean the pooh out from under your fingernail. That is the ONLY way possible to wipe your hiney with 3 sheets of TP!

I personally unroll until it hits the floor, do the wipe, then repeat. I'm a "looker". . . if the second swabbing didn't take care of it, I continue on until I'm happy with the results!

My girls (wife and two daughters) go through a lot. Although not as much as they used to since I started making them run the plunger when they over-used.

omg 160, Oh my!

That is a beautiful tutorial on the proper use of TP.

Hopefully I won't have to live on MRE TP rations. . . but I like the way you think!

The new "green" is "brown", who would've thunk it?!

I was beginning to wonder if anyone was even reading this stuff.

Next question, is you tp come off the roll over or under ?

ALWAYS over for me. . . although I've heard arguments that if you have a cat that likes it, you go under so they can't unroll it all on you.

I was taught to do the same thing with a large Basswood leaf. Now THAT is really green. (Do not try this with a Poison Ivy leaf)

i dont realy care if its over or under, as long as its there when i need it.

i dont realy care if its over or under, as long as its there when i need it.

I see you are hard at work....LOL good one though

busted!

She must have high fiber intake

The method used above with the picture was originaly invented for use when all you had available was cigarette papers. Lot of people were poor and rolled their own back then. Sears and Roebuck in the outhouse. Paper as we know it now wasn't in demand until indoor plumbing and septic systems came to be. Had better places for money than to wipe the butt with fancy paper.

Shucks sure can tell its not trapping season.... course good for laugh of the day , every day!!

i love this time of year. everybody getting stir crazy wanting to trap but cant so they come up with stuff like this

by the way, iffn you wear colored drawers, you cant see the skid marks

Couldn’t wait for the new Sears Roebuck and Montgomery Ward catalogs to be published each year. We could then use the old ones out in the “two holer”. Usually tried to get away with using half a page at a sitting, when the catalogs were gone- it was back to newspapers. Yes, Mom often complained about “skid marks”.

An interesting reading- http://nobodys-perfect.com/vtpm/exhibithall/informational/tphistory.html

Cheryl Crow tried to convince Americans that just one leaf of TP was enough.
We all know now why Lance Armstrong only dated her for a week....

Ever heard of "John Wayne" toilet paper? Rougher than heck, and don't take crap off of anyone.

ok... Lets answer the age old question... front to back or back to front ?

Get here one of these! No toilet paper necessary. Just get ready for an increase in water bill.

why would anyone want that thing???
freaks me out just looking at that probe coming out

My two girls use it like it grows on trees or something.

I guess it's better than them out in the front yard dragging their tails like a dog with worms.

If i had one of them things my wife would never leave the bathroom.

Lord , have mercy! I cant wait till Oct.15 trapping.

I remember those days. Those shinny pages were slippery.

Are we done with this now?

Why, you ready to flush it?

No. I left it as an "upper decker".

I have been challenged on my claim by a couple PM's. So, I've decided to come clean. (Is that a pun? Nah, don't think so) My claim is exaggerated by a bit. The turbine only provides enough power to run the bathroom cameras while the spool runs at the pre determined rpm.

I don't think you have a thing to worry about.

Well, it kind of does....

It's just toilet paper. It's cheap. $15.00 a week is pennies!!

First thing I do when I get home is show this post to my wife,ya all might want to watch trap shed this comming wk.post will most likey read-husband dead selling traps ect.

Here is the real reason -

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/toile.../#photoViewer=1

I never really thought about getting paid to go....I always just figured I was saving myself a stinky bathroom at home.

I don't know what all the OTHER girls do with the TP, I suspect it has more to do with makeup and such than actual potty breaks. Since I don't wear makeup or use it for other things like that, a 24 pack lasts the two of us like 3-4 months. We have 4 rolls on reserve still, so I passed up the TP aisle last payday. The way you guys are talking, those 4 rolls certainly wouldn't last your women more than 4 days! LOL
I think you guys must have had my mom over......I swear! She only buys paper goods in bulk from Sam's Club. lol