#2146 - 12/24/06 10:24 AM
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
|
cathryn
trapper
Registered: 12/22/06
Posts: 7084
Loc: West Virginia
|
THIS IS SAD BUT TRUE IN MY OPINION
'Twas The (Politically Correct) Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
_________________________
Mem. WVTA,NTA,FTA,OSTA
'Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option'
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#2163 - 12/24/06 10:32 AM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
lmao.. well have to say that puts me in the holiday spirit.. thanks lol
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2245 - 12/24/06 11:30 AM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
Derek Brayen
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 2731
Loc: Erieville, New York
|
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2254 - 12/24/06 11:35 AM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
Mizzard
trapper
Registered: 12/22/06
Posts: 305
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio
|
Google then type "politically correct 'twas the night before Christmas" You can find it there.
_________________________
Hal's Keeper
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2528 - 12/24/06 03:05 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
cheesecake huh.. sounds tasty
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2609 - 12/24/06 04:07 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: Oldtoolsniper]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
its Christmas.. who is countin fat intake.. more the better if you ask me .course i have them same thoughts all yr round .lol
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2668 - 12/24/06 04:45 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
Now you have just made me hungry..think i'll mozzy thru the sweets that are lined up on my kitchen table.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2699 - 12/24/06 04:53 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
. lol..only when i make here mad.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2725 - 12/24/06 05:02 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
so have i .lol.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2759 - 12/24/06 05:13 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
nothin that wants to live .. in fact farmers that i know that have cattle cut em off their place to keep em from accidently eatin em.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2786 - 12/24/06 05:25 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
oh trap
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 936
Loc: Franklin Co. Ohio
|
not that i'm aware of ..
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#2979 - 12/24/06 06:39 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: cathryn]
|
MMichtrapper
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 319
Loc: Coleman,Michigan
|
Very Good Cathryn!
Terry
_________________________
__________________________________________________
Terry
A Member of the:
VFW
MMIT
NTA
NRA
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#3196 - 12/24/06 08:44 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: MMichtrapper]
|
chessplayer
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 50
Loc: North east Kansas
|
Nintendo will rot your brain.
_________________________
If your ever in a cab in Mexeico city Don't say
'Vamos a la playa'. It would be expensive
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#3378 - 12/24/06 10:21 PM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: chessplayer]
|
Nextyeartrapper
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 3147
Loc: richmond virginia
|
so will chess
_________________________
what you do today you got to sleep with tonight
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#3579 - 12/25/06 06:46 AM
Re: Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
[Re: Nextyeartrapper]
|
Lightfoot
trapper
Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 112
Loc: Indiana
|
good post......
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
Moderator: Drifter
|
|
no problem ..glad to help..LOL 
when I think about my kids, kids.
