A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class - Trapperman.com Forums

The Pen and Quill

Home ~ Mission Statement ~ Trap Talk ~ ADC Forum ~ Trap Shed ~ Trap Chat
Trapper Tips ~ Links ~ Gallery ~ Basic Sets ~ Convention Calendar ~ Trapper's Humor
Fur Buyers Directory ~ Trapper's Tales ~ Words From The Past ~ Legends ~ Archives
~Catalog~

You are not logged in. [Log In] Home » Forums » Miscellaneous » The Pen and Quill » A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class

Page 1 of 1

1

Topic Options

#199292 - 05/08/07 07:28 PM A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class
MnOutdoorsman MnOutdoorsman trapper Registered: 04/27/07 Posts: 110 Loc: LINO / ASKOV MINNESOTA	I am 18 still in HS and i wrote this for my class comments would be awesome thanks and please don't be too mean and dont steall other peoples writings thats not cool Thanks The Early Morning Coon As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Her shadow dances on the ol’ stream below Soon she will know that she’ll never be free Soft cold pads clutch a tampered with tree A snout full of sent, restless feet follow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree A waterfall creates a mystic like breeze Around her face a beautiful mask flows Soon she will know that she’ll never be free A disturbing squall echoes as she flees Among the creek bed the sun rises slow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree The crows sound close as they land in a tree The sweet smell of flesh consumes her soul Soon she will know that she’ll never be free As she licks her lips she thinks it’s a tease Only one step, an unexpected blow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Soon she will know that she’ll never be free _________________________ Keep The Tradition Alive Hunt Trap Fish and Bring A Youngin Along
Top

#199389 - 05/08/07 09:36 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: MnOutdoorsman]
NYNovice NYNovice trapper Registered: 12/23/06 Posts: 1688 Loc: Central NY	Well, first I would just say this. I am 18 still in HS and i wrote this for my class comments would be awesome thanks and please don't be too mean and dont steall other peoples writings thats not cool Thanks Represent yourself well. Just your introduction was almost enough for me to not continue. LOL. It is one great big run on sentence. As for the Text, It isn't too bad. It creates a nice image, and has some very good comparisons. Not bad at all. _________________________ TrapperMans FIRST Haiku Master: Misted Over Dawn Cherry Red On the Hillside A Moment Stands Still
Top

#199825 - 05/09/07 03:48 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: NYNovice]
MnOutdoorsman MnOutdoorsman trapper Registered: 04/27/07 Posts: 110 Loc: LINO / ASKOV MINNESOTA	I fixed it! it had 11 syllables in one line and two 9 syllable lines. The Early Morning Coon As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Shadow dances on the ol'stream below Soon she will know that she'll never be free Her soft cold pads clutch a tampered with tree A snout full of sent, restless feet follow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree A waterfall creates a mystic breeze Around her face a beautiful mask flows Soon she will know that she'll never be free A disturbing squall echoes as she flees Among the creek bed the sun rises slow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree the crows sound close as they land in a tree The sweet smell of flesh consumes her cold soul Soon she will know that she'll never be free As she licks her lips she thinks its a tease Only one step, an unexpected blow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Soon she will know that she'll never be free _________________________ Keep The Tradition Alive Hunt Trap Fish and Bring A Youngin Along
Top

#199960 - 05/09/07 07:23 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: MnOutdoorsman]
payotetrapper payotetrapper trapper Registered: 12/23/06 Posts: 35 Loc: Greenpoint PA	Nice poem. We are on our poetry unit as well. Here is a villanelle i wrote. “Dedicated” The sun rises from the east, Animals start to come his way. The hunter waits for the beast. The wise man waits for his feast, For time makes him stay. The sun rises from the east. Even when he sees the least, He stays for the day. The hunter waits for the beast. Looking out on a field, whose future with yeast, Not much there, he decides to stay. The sun rises from the east. How long until he gets his feast? How much will it weigh? The hunter waits for the beast. He stays through the noon, at least, Not like others who goes home to lay. The sun rises from the east. The hunter waits for the beast. _________________________ Traps 4 Kids
Top

#200539 - 05/10/07 03:06 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: payotetrapper]
James James "Frostbite Jimmy" trapper Registered: 12/26/06 Posts: 1491 Loc: Anchorage, Alaska	Payote, please start a new thread for your own poem. MnOutdoorsman, I like this poem too. It might read easier if you broke it into stanzas of, say, four lines each. (See Payote's poem.) Your fourth line confused me at first. When you use two or more words as an adjective, you should join them with a hyphen. Your fourth line should read: "Soft cold pads clutch a tampered-with tree." Nice work! Jim
Top

#200579 - 05/10/07 03:35 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: James]
MnOutdoorsman MnOutdoorsman trapper Registered: 04/27/07 Posts: 110 Loc: LINO / ASKOV MINNESOTA	Thank you very much. I thought of breaking it into stanzas after i had posted it the second time my dad was also confused by the line too. Well thank you. _________________________ Keep The Tradition Alive Hunt Trap Fish and Bring A Youngin Along
Top

#202739 - 05/13/07 09:21 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: James]
payotetrapper payotetrapper trapper Registered: 12/23/06 Posts: 35 Loc: Greenpoint PA	Originally Posted By: James Payote, please start a new thread for your own poem. sorry, i was trying to stick to his villenelle topic. I just made it for school, so i thought i would put it up for him to see. _________________________ Traps 4 Kids
Top

#203174 - 05/14/07 02:21 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: payotetrapper]
James James "Frostbite Jimmy" trapper Registered: 12/26/06 Posts: 1491 Loc: Anchorage, Alaska	It's no big deal, but if you want comments on your own work, it's best to start an original thread. Jim
Top

#205456 - 05/16/07 09:29 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: James]
cwilld cwilld trapper Registered: 12/23/06 Posts: 1964 Loc: North Idaho	MnOutdoorsman, great job! I would second what was said earlier as far as breaking it into stanzas. I think it would flow better that way. Keep up the good work. _________________________ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you...
Top

#208102 - 05/20/07 12:50 PM Re: A Villanelle I Wrote for My Creative Writing Class [Re: cwilld]
MnOutdoorsman MnOutdoorsman trapper Registered: 04/27/07 Posts: 110 Loc: LINO / ASKOV MINNESOTA	The Early Morning Coon As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Her shadow dances on the ol’ stream below Soon she will know that she’ll never be free Soft cold pads clutch a tampered with tree A snout full of sent, restless feet follow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree A waterfall creates a mystic like breeze Around her face a beautiful mask flows Soon she will know that she’ll never be free A disturbing squall echoes as she flees Among the creek bed the sun rises slow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree The crows sound close as they land in a tree The sweet smell of flesh consumes her soul Soon she will know that she’ll never be free As she licks her lips she thinks it’s a tease Only one step, an unexpected blow As she creeps across a fallen oak tree Soon she will know that she’ll never be free _________________________ Keep The Tradition Alive Hunt Trap Fish and Bring A Youngin Along
Top

Page 1 of 1

1

Previous Topic

Previous Topic View All Topics

View All Topics

Index Next Topic

Next Topic

Moderator: NYNovice, James

Hop to: