I Hope They're Careful

I'm a little worried about the UPS and FedEx trucks crashing into each other in their rush to bring me birthday presents from all

you guys today.

I returned the gift I got for you when on the other thread you said you had six of everything. So glad I won't be contributing to any vehicular crashes.

Happy Birthday!

Thanks Bob, the kids gave me a card on ways to tell that you're getting older. Some are pretty good:

You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle, and Pop," and you haven't poured milk on your cereal yet!

Your Pharmacist calls you by your first name.

Your sweetie says "Wanna neck?".... and hands you a piece of chicken!

Your car battery goes dead because your turn signal was on for two weeks straight.

Lessons from Aging
As I get older, I realize I'm getting wiser. Some of the lessons I've learned over the years:
1. I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management; I need people to stop p---ing me off.
4. My people skills are just fine; it's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down; I'll remember it."
6. When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.
7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.
8. Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
10. At my age, "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.

The tooth fairy has more of your teeth than you do.

You wake up with that terrible "morning after" feeling....and you didn't do anything the night before.

You're sitting on a park bench and a Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

You think of a "Quickie" as napping at a traffic light.

You light your birthday cake candles and a group of campers shows up with a bag of marshmallows.

I had a friend of mine turn 50 earlier this year. Well, remembering when I turned 50, I knew the perfect gift for him. I gave him a calendar so that he could keep up with his doctors appointments!

Happy birthday, Paul!

Thanks Muddawg, it's fun remembering back to when I was a kid of 50. With the Alzheimer years to look forward to, my posts can only

get crazier!

Happy birthday Paul.

happy belated birthday-Paul.

Since Trapstickman just learned of your birthday he is still sending the traditional oatmeal birthday cake and surprise gift package to you. Expect them to arrive late as well. Happy belated birthday, Paul....hope you had a good one!

Thanks, that cake looks just about right.

Happy birthday young man.

Just so the rest of you know, Jim's one of the few people in our business that can call me that.

So...are we supposed to say "happy birthday old man"?

Happy Birthday!

happy birthday!!

Happy Belated!