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#93162 - 02/15/07 07:48 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - NEW CONTEST !!! [Re: CTtrapper]
Anonymous
Unregistered

ohhhhhh and by the way......some of these prizes are courtesy of cathryn from this forum.........thank you very much for your contribution!!!!!!!!

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#93299 - 02/15/07 08:44 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio

















Prince Charming

Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince...

"Yes, that's me. I was a handsome prince, but an evil sorcerer cast a spell on me and turned me into a possum. The only thing that could turn me back into a prince was a kiss from a fair maiden."

Here is the evil sorcerer, The Jackal, and his minion, The Jakass, hatching the evil plot. "Hold that microphone still, Jakass", The Jackal said. "I'll dictate the formula for turning that pesky prince into a possum. Then I'll send the villagers out to gather up the ingredients."
"Stay away from me!" this man yelled as a villager tried to collect one of the ingredients... eye of newt.
Guts of fish was another ingredient needed for the potion. (Later on, the guy on the left offered to kiss me, but I didn't think that would help. Furthermore, I decided I rather remain a possum than undergo that!)
First, they tried the formula on some unsuspecting villager. But instead of turning into a possum, this fellow turned into a nutria because there was too much water in the recipe.
The Jackal sent this guy out to look for me, but soon he fired the man because he couldn't find shiite. Eventually I was located and tricked into eating the potion.
I wandered for days trying to get a fair maiden to kiss me. Finally, I just broke down and paid this woman to give me a peck on the cheek.
At last, I was freed from the evil spell and returned to my normal self. Here I am today -- Prince Charming.

The End



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#93300 - 02/15/07 08:45 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: Hal]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio
I want the printer.

\:\) -- Hal
_________________________
This line appears at the bottom of all my posts.

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#93369 - 02/15/07 09:16 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: Hal]
Anonymous
Unregistered

geeeeeez. didn't you see my post? the printer is MINE! FCOL. you can get one for $100 at WallyWorld !

besides, IF you get a prize, Hal dear, it will be of MY choosing........as this time, I'm doing my own judging.....or I may have Crazy Eddy help me out.....

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#94331 - 02/16/07 04:24 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio

















The T-Man Cooking Show
Hi, I'm Hal Sullivan and welcome to the T-Man cooking show. I have prepared my own famous dish, Fricasseed Toad.

Fricasseed Toad
Get about a dozen toads.
Fricassee them.
Feeds 300.



Here are some of the other folks who will be on today's show.


Danger Ranger will be giving us his famous recipe for MRE's with garter snake gravy.
Wilma Smucker, (Mother Smucker as we call her) is hosting her "Fun with Jams and Jellies" segment. (Parental Discretion Advised)
Chef Jungle Joe will be hosting "Cannibal Corner". This segment will be on cooking with friends.
Here is Sal Amander, who will be giving his recipe for Fried Frogs, and New England Calm Dip who will be giving his recipe for applying Peanut Butter to Crackers and other ethnic minorities.
In our pastry segment, expert John Dough will show how you really can have your cake and eat it too.
Here are today's guest cooks, Cousin Greasy and Moe Lone. They were going to prepare one of their traditional dishes...
But it escaped.

The End



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#94478 - 02/16/07 06:20 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Sullivan K Offline
"Keith"

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Northern Ohio ...

A new Law firm had just moved to town. Bendem & Over were going to open a new office and were looking for ways to get the word, of their arrival, out.



The firm of Wilmer & Associates was hired put together a show to draw in the crowds.




Just back from their audition on American Idol, the soon to be famous singing duo of Snuff Whuff Dad and The White Boy, were hired to entertain the expected throngs at the grand opening.




The response was overwhelming. The locals came to the party to celebrate having a new law firm in town and they brought along the bribes they knew were necessary to hire a lawyer.




The gastronomical delights that were prepared for the event were second to none. All of the guests were able to eat until full.



Except for the fried toad, great food was enjoyed by all. It seems the fried toad was a flop. The poor toad farmer couldn't even give away his wares.





Bendem & Over found a mascot to represent their law firm. They needed something the people could relate to. "We know that our clients are dumb as something and we need that "something" to represent our firm".




It didn't take the citizenry long to figure out that this law firm was just like every other law firm. By early the next morning Bendem & Over had been run out of town.
_________________________
If I told ya once, I etc. etc., my name ain't Keith

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#94732 - 02/16/07 08:55 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Sullivan K Offline
"Keith"

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Northern Ohio ...

when the party was over they all went to the bar. a hop up good time was had until the summer equinox arrived. with daylight saving time there was not much time to get any sleep. all the batteries were dead and even the old farmer had used up all of his oil. he caught all the fish and then painted his barn?


everyone fell down and worshiped the king of the hill. what the hill the king said never will it be the same. every thing we had is lost and will never be regained. after they found the old horse skeleton while digging the pond the called the university but they said that none of it mattered anyway. there were ripples on the water but no wind and all the skipping stones had been skipped.


i can't understand this all. what ever happened to the fun we used to have? days gone by are just that days gone by. if you want anything you just gotta do it ya know it doesn't come easy. the great rum runners had their own tale, or was it tail. even all the ships had sailed and then he broke the guys jaw after he drew a pair of jacks


the cowboys, after a meal of beans at the chuck wagon, could no longer work for the tyrant. after all the trial and fury they hanged the judge but the spared the jury. no one asked the reason why sentenced passed they turned to die.


after much discussion, the clientele, they decide they would move. much discussion was involved and every one at least some maybe not all or one or two decided to just do something else, and then she laid her head down. the flowers grew without water but the snow melt helped. After that they dug a shallow grave and laid his body down.


when the big frezze came there was little anyone could do. there was only one pain and it was anna marie but she was broken. all the fuel had been used. all the food was gone. all that was left was shoe leather to eat. then the roof caved in. saint steven tried but nope. they couldn't see the rainbow for the rain.


buy then the train had been robbed and the safe had been blowen up or at least apart. they got the watch too and never found the body. by then it was a runaway train. just one more toke and will be there. and after the big search they were found in the cave. even steven was with them and they recovered the watch and fob



DOES ANYONE GET IT???



BYE
_________________________
If I told ya once, I etc. etc., my name ain't Keith

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#95480 - 02/17/07 01:28 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio

















The Life and Crimes of N. Treels
Once upon a time there was an infamous criminal, N. Treels. Mister Treels was arrested and imprisoned for heinous acts. Here is a photo of N. Treels trying to steal an innocent man's kidneys.
Treels was incarcerated with a cell mate named Vidal Orguns. Orguns and his girlfriend, Lucy Tuth, concocted a plan to break out of jail. Here Lucy is seen bribing a guard to get a package delivered to her boyfriend.
It was a cake. As Vidal Orguns ate the cake, he found the file Lucy had hidden inside. He and Treels then sawed their way to freedom.
The National Guard was called out. They searched and searched. This fellow actually spotted N. Treels and tried to sneak up behind him. But he was repelled by an IED (Improvised Explosive Dufus) which was concurrent with a release of poison gas.
A famous G-Man was called in to coordinate the search. He spoke with a reporter: "I've brought my detective shoes with me," he said, "and I'm prepared to wear them if necessary."
"I've also brought my dog." The G-Man declared.
A five dollar reward was offered for whereabouts of N. Treels and Vidal Orguns and two of their n'er-do-well buddies got wind of it. "Do they think we would sell out our friends for five dollars?" One questioned. "I think it's five dollars apiece," the other said. "Well, that's different," the first replied.
Lacking success, the authorities called in the famous detective, Shylock Homely. "Your goose is cooked now, Treels." Shylock declared. He quickly apprehended the criminals, and tried to put them behind bars. But there was no room behind any of the local taverns, so he sequestered them in back of a Chinese Laundry instead.

The End



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#95702 - 02/17/07 04:15 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: Hal]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio
Is that a china cupboard in the Upper Left on the prizes photo?

I'd like to have that.

\:\) -- Hal
_________________________
This line appears at the bottom of all my posts.

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#95817 - 02/17/07 05:21 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
GritGuy Offline


Registered: 12/23/06
Loc: Magna, Utah
Didn't take to long for this to have hinky spilled all over it!!!
_________________________


Sorry if my opinions or replies offend you, they are not meant to !

www.wasatchwild.com

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#95901 - 02/17/07 06:13 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Sullivan K Offline
"Keith"

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Northern Ohio ...

With eyes of green, and chestnut hair,the new, bride to be, was so happy. She had landed a man. There were so many things that needed to be prepared in anticipation of the big wedding




The authorites heard about the big event. All of the relatives had ben invited to the wedding. They knew about this caliber of people, and the type of vehicles they would be driving.Troopers had been set up to catch the unspecting guests driving unsafe vehicles to the wedding.




The subject of the best man came up. There were no men that amounted to much, anyway, so they had to figure what to do. It didn't take long, there he was in the head lights. They knew they had found the best man.



Guards were hired to protect the table for the gifts. A stern warning was given to all to place the gift on the table and then vacate the area. The guards knew the type guests that had been invited would steal any thing of value, and they took their job seriously.



The preacher was paid for his service. He was setting back enjoying the reception. Trying to fit in with the crowd, "Ya'll wanna chew of my Copenhagen", he asked the guests?



Finally the cake was brought in. "Sorry, I dropped it" the clumsy caterer said.



The guests didn't seem to mind. They had eaten things a lots worse than cake scraped off the floor.





And, as we all know, there is romance at weddings, and love is in the air. 4th cousins, once removed, Baldwin and Git, found each other. They never did have much luck with them wimmens' so they decided that maybe havin' a boy friend wasn't so bad. They became life partners.
_________________________
If I told ya once, I etc. etc., my name ain't Keith

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#96231 - 02/17/07 08:54 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: Sullivan K]
Anonymous
Unregistered



what great stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#96261 - 02/17/07 09:05 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


ohhhhhhh and K, no I don't!!!!!!!!

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#96335 - 02/17/07 09:35 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
GritGuy Offline


Registered: 12/23/06
Loc: Magna, Utah
Stories, these?? this stuff?? LOL!!!!

Your bored or worse hinkified!! \:\/
_________________________


Sorry if my opinions or replies offend you, they are not meant to !

www.wasatchwild.com

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#96359 - 02/17/07 09:46 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: GritGuy]
nelacres Offline
"The Farmer"

Registered: 12/23/06
Loc: Derby, Vermont 45 for now
wait till Gritty comes to Verminsnot to learn far reaching, then I'll have pictures for a story. LOL
_________________________

Nelly

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#97190 - 02/18/07 12:53 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Sullivan K Offline
"Keith"

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Northern Ohio ...


The old miner was so happy. While beddin' a trap the lucky son-of-a-gun had struck gold.
"It's gold, it's gold, I've stuck gold" "Lookie the size of them nuggets" he said "No, not them nuggets, them one on the tray"



We need to hire protection. We need to protect our claim. The local militia was called in to protect the old prospectors claim. Using stealth and cunning they focused on their mission.



The locals were jubilant. Every one was celebrating. "Beer for all, beer for all" they cried. We're all gonna be rich. "We just gotta figure out how to get at that gold mine"



The local towns folk, Ivan and Elvin, had heard about them truffle smellin' pig what smelled them truffles while in the ground. After much thought as they could muster, about 10 seconds worth, they knew what to do.



Ivan and Elvin found themselves their own smellin' machine. They figured they could smell out them golds and be rich.



The local claim jumpers, Paco and Alphonso, stole Ivan and Elevin's gold smellin' machine and went prospectin'
"Gold, gold, look we found gold". "See it's shiny, it must be gold". With a little rubbin' it'll polish up real nice like. "The wimmen will like us and we'll be happy, and rich, for ever and for ever".




Them wimmen could hardly control themselves. They were so happy that they now had rich men. They started selling raffle tickets to come see their rich men. "Money goes to a good cause" they cried. "All proceeds go to the "finally found a rich man, gonna get my self stinkin' drunk, drinkin' fund".



Mean while, back at the ranch,

I can't believe this cake hasn't been polished off yet. It's been settin' here for better than a week.
_________________________
If I told ya once, I etc. etc., my name ain't Keith

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#97471 - 02/18/07 04:29 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio

















AMA Convention
Once upon a time, the AMA (Armenian Medical Association) held its annual convention. Many noted professionals were in attendance. Here is Polly

Ethylene, the noted plastic surgeon. She is best known for her work with cut and burn victims. She is also very good at surgery. Here she is seen buying some lighter fluid

and a knife.
Here is the well known surgical team of, Test Ines, and his partner Bow Ells. These fellows are famous for there work in the lower digestive tract. They

are well respected because everyone know it takes guts to do work like that.
This is the famous Spanish/Russian heart surgeon, Ricardio Vaskular. He is promoting his line of low fat, low sugar, low flavor desserts.
Here are noted brain surgeons Sara Bellum, and Muh Dulla from Saudi Arabia. Sara also dabbles in transgender reconstruction. Here they are

discussing the difference between an appendectomy and an addadictomy.
This is the team of Rudy Tutoot, and Windy Gagums, inventors of the artificial fart. This device, strategically implanted in a patient can allow the

flatulently impaired to lead a normal life, emitting sounds and odors simulating the real thing. They also tried to modify the device to act as a voice box, but the words were

unintelligible and it caused bad breath.
The Surgeon General dropped by for a visit. Which proved to be embarrassing because...
... The Association had inadvertently invited this fellow "The Sturgeon General" instead. The Sturgeon General was not a doctor, he was a fish monger.

Who was pleased to attend, nonetheless, and put on quite a barbecue.
The evening was topped off when the Research Division displayed their new line of giant "economy size" laboratory mice.

And a good time was had by all.


The End

_________________________
This line appears at the bottom of all my posts.

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#97618 - 02/18/07 06:08 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: Hal]
Anonymous
Unregistered

NOT MUCH TIME LEFT NOW.......looks like the Sullivans have alot of stories here..........but several others are good too, I'll be back in awhile........... :-)

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#97638 - 02/18/07 06:23 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered



wow......I just did a count...and 25 "entries" are on here.......some are NOT stories tho, so those won't be eligible for a specialty prize........ :-)

but.......I'll do some thinking here.........

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#97758 - 02/18/07 07:28 PM Re: WRITE A STORY - WIN A PRIZE - PICTURE OF PRIZES!!! [Re: ]
Hal Offline
trapper

Registered: 12/22/06
Loc: Blue Creek, Ohio
There ainít no thinkiní to it. Iíve made 4 submissions. If you wanna piddle around and decides who gets the last six prizes, go ahead, but the top four are mine.

And hereís another one I finished after the deadline. Youíre lucky this dial up is slow to connect or youíd owe me five prizes.

\:\) -- Hal
_________________________
This line appears at the bottom of all my posts.

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