OK........due to popular request and nagging by certain forum members who will remain nameless........here is a new story post!

***** CONTEST OVER SUNDAY FEB 18, 8 pm EASTERN time! *****


RULES:

1. USE EACH PHOTO ONLY 1 TIME, AND IN ANY ORDER YOU WANT!

2. please try to put the pictures IN your story, in the order you used them .... just right click on each photo, arrow down to properties, and and you'll see the "address" of it......put that address between [img] and [/img] within your post, then write below each one....so we can easily see which photo each writing section is about. the 'address' is the http...all the way thru the .jpg

3. You may write as many stories as you wish, but don't expect to win a prize for them all ! :-)

4. HAVE FUN !!!! I'll post prizes later on......but the top 10 will be getting something from me!

okkkkkkkk what did I forget??? GET STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!




1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.


7.

8.

arrow down...........to see a picture of the prizes!!!

"okkkkkkkk what did I forget???"

You forgot the fact that Hal Sullivan doesn't seem to be around right now. How can you rig your contest (as in the past) to let him win, if he's not around?

Jim

James, just write a story and quit whining.

Oh, and by the way Hal is on his way home even as we speak. He heard a new contest was in progress. Oh, but that shouldn't make any difference right? Who writes all those stories anyway?

Miz

sorry i changed it

Jim, I just about put a different photo in there of you with this 'lady' in a pink dress......but decided being a lawyer, you might sue me for defamation of character.........

so do what Miz says, just write a story and quit yer whining!

Miz.....I'm so glad I timed this just right, so you and Hal can BOTH write a story ! :-)

(please tell Kevin also, he's been whining for a new story for days........)

hunter 2468......I think you mis-understood here! you have to use MY PHOTOS to make a story......a funny one.....one that is 'made up'................

try again :-)

can you take that one off and redo a story? :-)

ya sure sorry!

it was a nice story tho!! :-)

Just send my broke prize to Hal like ya do everytime and i'll just skip writting a story.

I don't know half them people anyway and ONE of those photo's is mine anyway, ya dang picture theif!

Post deleted by coontrapper

o it has to be funny... and made up

guess i didnt read that

coontrapper.......if you could delete the ones you put on, and write a NEW story.......you might want to wait til some "veteran" story writers do a couple so you see how this works....... :-)

thanks tho!

Nice pictures Drew.

You are pretty brave MsCat allowing oatmeal cake into the storyline.

I'm tough, Sheriff, comes from being friends with you for so many years......

so it seems that the directions you gave in copying a picture don't seem to work.

WOW, this is going over like lead balloon LOL!!

Should be a great thread once people figure out how to read the instructions!!

Though my money's on this being hinkified before the night is over, just as well send the broke stuff now and be done with it!!

Hupurest.......I changed the instructions......forgot the 'PROPERTIES' part.......try again??

Gritty and MuddyRat......let's try to be nice shall we????

I must go out and procurr food for the simpletins to eat.


What? You will drink this beer in honor of the burning of the 100 year old hotel.



meanwhile, Our hero appraoches the old wiseman. " Ole wiseman what is the secrete to finding happiness?



The food seeking mission was a success.



With this new squeeker I have made this imbicile will be able to speak even without his voice box.


With all the twenties I have collect I can now afford a new trapping book. When is supper anyway?



The lowley servant brings out the fried marsupial, a feast fit for royalty.



What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? I hope there is a full roll of charmin in the outhouse.

nelly..........fcol.........I hope you plan to write a REAL story that actually fits together and has a bit more planning to it !

(it was sorta funny tho!)

The Disgusting Delicious Dish

By: Mr. Coon Hangman

The main ingredient in this dish will be this rare, elusive, majestic North American creature. The most scrumpous of all wild animals in the world. Chef's became famous for offering this cuisine.


But there was a problem! Nobody could seem to catch them! Thousands of trappers a year laid out tons and tons of steel to catch them! They also recieved top dollar for such pelts because they're so rare. The meat market was outstanding as well! Most were unsuccesful, and yearly gatherings were held to discuss techniques to capture this marvelous furbearer. Here is a few pro's bonding at a recent gathering


Some trappers went to the extreme and hired the best soldiers in the entire world to try and seek down and conquer this famous critter. Here's a soldier standing back up from looking for sign.

There was annual nationwide contests, trappers from all over the world entered to become known as the "Possum Pros". Here's the 2nd place winner, showing off his Red Ribbon! The traits of a good possum trapper is to be ugly and a wimp.

Here's a famous possum trapper from years past, selling off his best kept secrets to an amateur trapper.

It's been said he learned everything from the best possum trapper in all the land. Also the current and 34 year in a row Champion of the nationwide contest. But he was as elusive as the possum himself! One lady did spot him though and shouts "THERE HE IS!"

He was finally caught and chained up to spill his secrets. He pleaded to be let free to explain to the world his secrets to catching them. He,in tears, told the world, that a blue bucket set, baited with cat based bait, especially cats named winnie, with a few sprinkles of tin foil in the bait was the best possum catching concoction in all the land. He also proclaimed his addiction to eating this rodent. He was a selfish old man who liked to keep all the spoils to himself. He claims that possum is the other "white meat". His favorite way to prepare it, deep fat fried.

This famous possum pro also said a good possum oatmeal cake casserole was his 2nd favorite dish. He claims his love partner can't get enough of it.


Now, since his secrets were revealed and his recipes spread across the world, more and more people were enjoying the satisfaction of catching this delicate animal and enjoying it's flesh.

The End!

hahahaha tahts pretty good
ill have to think one up

here they are planning the attack for the POSSUM!

the hunter hunting the elusive POSSUM!

GOT HIM!

O the celebration!

though this fellow did not get one he stil loves his red ribbon

the cook getting her supplies ready to fry the POSSUM!

the servant serving the fried POSSUM!

this guy always like a lil bit of possum pot pie!

The pot bellied chemist was desperately trying to get rid of the evidence. No longer having any teeth, he could no longer dispose of contraband by eating it. The only solution was to try to find unsuspecting half-wits (is there such a thing as a suspecting half-wit) to help him.



Calling in the armed forces seemed to be the only option. After careful tracking, scouting, and firing behind himself to avoid enemy attack, the trained professional finally found an option.



With great skill, the skills of which can only be learned in the military, the man became a hero, and possibly a medal winner, by capturing an accomplice that was known to be able to eat anything. The destruction of the evidence seemed to be under control.



Wait, wait, I've captured one of those things also. "If'n you can't get yours to eat the evidence, I think mine'll do it".



The problem seemed to be well under control, causing the citizenry to become jubilant. The crowed went wild and danced and hugged in anticipation of the evidence being destroyed.




Then the Gubment got involved. With smoke and mirrors they, and with much success, tried to convince the populace that the evidence, the contraband, could not be destroyed. The Gubment man had the pot bellied chemist arrested.



"We need to raise money to save the chemist". "Buy an egg, buy and egg, I don't care if ya already spent a hundred dollars on those colored eggs. Buy another egg"



And with the money raised from selling colored eggs, something that even the army could not find, was able to be purchased. With the vast amount of money they were able to purchase a human machine that could eat, and keep down anything. If he can eat that cake and not puke, he can eat the chemist's contraband

These story's suck, Hal's going to eat ya'll alive, lol.

It might be time for a sequel to the "Swamp Booger".

Bonanza: Where Did They Go?

Ever wonder what happened to all the cast of the hit show Bonanza? Well looks like they're all doing pretty good.

Little Joe joined the military and became known as G.I. Little Joe





Candy the ranch supervisor came out of the closet after watching the movie Broke Back Mountain and moved to upstate New York!



Hoss being the kind hearted ol soul that he is kept Hop Sing and cared for him in his golden years.



Many claimed it was just because Hoss liked the diversity of Hop Sing's cooking.



The producer's of the show went on to operate a strip club in Las Vegas.



Ben's ex. wife, Miss. Kitty sued an won taking the right's to all of his many books he wrote over the years as well as the Ponderosa.



Ben ended up spending his later years working for various fair grounds as a vendor. He was a big hit on the little league circuit also.



Adam came out of the closet and started his own cooking show in San Fransico.




THE END

i was sloppin down last weeks breakfast in the UP...


since i was a bit overweight, i decided to put on my sundays finest and take a stroll through the bush... couldn't find my armadillo helmet


anywhoo, i was just wanderin around when i came upon a wild batch natives


being the friendly type i introduced my self, we exchanged eh's and they offered me a pabst and this batch of fricaseed critter



after the hoopla, i mosied myself to the NTA convention where i met my good buddy babyface... thats him on the left!


then i started to feel a little funny... i looked over my shoulder to see mr. government man sweepin me and clem with mindcontrol waves...


without my armadillo helmet, i was completely helpless and passed out. i woke up in parking lot with a silver naked tail squirrel kissin on me


then there be a bright flash of light and smiles, the silver naked tailed squirrel turned into this beautamous princess!


so me and smiles the beautamous princess have been liven happily ever since!

Hello, my name is Jimmie Boudreaux and I would like to tell you of the trials and tribulations of my life in Lafayette, Louisiana. I have had a paper route since I got throwed out of seventh grade for asking when do we commence to whittlin during a basic skills test. My little dog tiger was my best friend and followed me everywhere on the paper route . He was a stray and we found him in our garbage can one morning on the porch five years ago.


Tiger was killed last week when he ran under Mr.Cartier's honey bucket truck. As you might imagine myself, as well as the whole paper route district was heartbroken. There was a collection taken up for a proper burial and the very next morning on the front page of the paper it showed Mayor Cletus Cheval signing the death certificate over to the local undertaker, Mr. Smalley.


I just couldn't deliver no more papers after that but I had to make some money so I could pay my way into outdoor writers school in Odessa, Texas this coming spring. One of my best customers ran the only business around that seemed to make alot of money. Mr. Clammers had some kind of club that women took off their clothes and danced around and the parking lot was always full. I went in and at that exact time he was showing a young fella the world's largest silver dollar, one look for fifty cents.


His talking made alot of sense to me because he said " Jimmie, you got to find something like I did, something people can't do without." As I went home early that next morning I realized that Mr. Clammers was right. People ate every day and that was what I was going to do, make and sell them something they could eat. Now I didn't know nuthin from nuthin about cooking but my fourteen year old sister Mary Jean Beth had taken home economics before she had quit school. Matter o fact she sells pies every year at the fall festival.



The first thing she asked me was what do you want to cook. Well after alot of figurin I knew that I couldn't buy nuthin so whatever it was going to be was going to have to come from the woods. Now I like to eat fish and I knew of a real good mudcat hole close to the house. A glass jar, some carbide, and a little water and I came back with a bait of mudcats. Now granted the first five or six batches didn't come out so good but a little less mudcat and a little more cornmeal, I think I'm goona do real good.


Now I'm getting real excited about my new business and I guess I owe it all to Mom and Dad.


My Mom, the big one in the picture, Always told me " Jimmie, don't worry son, the world needs ditch diggers too!" And my Dad showed me how to diversify with the corn liqour business and selling dogs and cats to the medical instituitions. Even my little sister, little hallie is helping by eating my new food inventions and telling me three thumbs up or three thumbs down.


And who knows? if this works out maybe the meter man will actually be able to walk up to the house instead sneakin aroun here all the time.

This was on page 2. I'm bringing it back up.

The Story of Count Grinnercula

Come one, come all, lend me your ears so that I may tell you a story of gruesome fears. Deep within the wood so wild, live monsters and demons who want your child.

In this town, they make no mistake, and these are not figments that your imagination makes. So when one day, the residents cried, gather your offspring, they ran, but they could not hide.

Cindy entered the common and said quietly, "They've taken one of ours, oh where could he be?"

7.

"Who?" they all asked. "Who have they taken from me?" She replied with a sigh, "They've taken Jackie." The wails erupted from the group so sad, and the men clenched their fists, fury seething mad.

6.

So the town got together, and gathered their finest, carefully selected by none other than his Highness. He was a noble king, loved a lot, and hailed from the line of Royal Verminsnot.

4.

"You will go out, and find our Jackie," this was not negotiable, it was a royal decree! So the best of the best were the lead the group on, he wanted them tough, he wanted them rugged, didn't want any don juans...

5.

Outfitted with the best gear and weaponry, they set out into the woods filled with the giant oak trees. Stealthy they moved, quiet afoot, eyes peeled for the count, no matter what form he took.

2.

It wasn't long before themselves they defended as the minions of Count Grinnercula descended. Like silver wraiths on the mist they flew, from above just beyond their view. With fangs glinting silver in the light, the men fought so hard, fought with all their might. Many were lost, and they knew they could not go on, they would have to retreat, and figure out what went wrong.

3.

They returned to the town, crestfallen and down, and asked the old wisemen how could they win? He said someone that evil there is only one way to conquer him. That his minions are made from his own blood, and to feed him their flesh would turn his heart to mud. So the men gathered the carcasses of the minions and buckets they filled, so that the old wiseman could take them, and give them back to the men Grilled.


1.

Sent into the wilds, this dish made its way, so that the minions could find it so neatly displayed. Knowing that Count Grinnercula saw the 'spoils' they called, they took the dish to him so he could sample it all. As he sat there and quietly chewed the meat, he swallowed, face stricken, and dropped dead at their feet. With the Count no longer alive, the minions had no heartbeat, and they all died.

8. [/quote]

And the town rejoiced as they got back their Jackie, and the King of Verminsnot was incredibly happy. Without a doubt, the history books will say, that King Nelly of Verminsnot saved the day!

THE TRANSORMATION

A long time ago, in a time before oatmeal cake came to be, there once was a man who was very prestigius, and honerable. He was a war hero, and someone to be very afraid of...


But little did the man know, a evil woman was cooking up something to change MANkind forever...even after ONE serving of Oatmeal cake, his body began to change, on the molecular level, and the change happened almost immediatly...




the next step, in this poor mans transformation, was loosing hair, heigth, and his ability to not be afraid of snakes...



after the previuse phase of transformation, the next logical phase was to morph into a possum, since the change wasnt all that hard to do..




this is the fore shadowing part of the story...



this is the "romance" part of the story...



thes two fellas here, thier main goal in life, is to stop the final transformation in the process, after eating oatmeal cake. here, they are gathering weopanry and straegising thier plane to stop the "monster"



and for the climatic end...

"DOH HIYA everybody..member me? der her im the guy in the first picture.. care for some gopher?"

its sad, but true, that a guy can go from well respected, handsome, and intellegent, to this, just from eating one serving of oatmeal cake.



charles

I hadn't checked this post since last night.......and I'm on the floor now! hahahahaaaaaaa! keep 'em coming...........I have 10 prizes to send out!!!!!!!!!!

Contest isn't over til Sunday night the 18th.......at 8 pm!!!!!!

Top Story ..This is a Live picture of the Beedy Eyed Viilian getting away..
"HAHHAAHAHA.....Can't catch me...My play'n possum ability has fooled another dumb human....What cha gonna do when the Possum Comes look'n for you?" Meanwhile...

Mr. Travolta upset with being interupted during his meal with this tragic news; "I will not stand for this. I will rally up the men and put a end to this fur bearing creature"

The boys, Bubba and Hank have been at camp putting the 12oz.ers away all day have nothing but smiles from ear to ear. In no shape to take on a task like this. All they want to do is giggle and tee hee. What a crew they are!!

So he goes alone to the shop to get some supplies. What does he find? Nothing but snares and T-shirts. He says " What am I suppose to do with these? This is the beedy eyed creature of the forest! I need more than a snare and a T-Shirt!!"

All of the sudden he gets a call on his cell, it's a woman!!!! She is hysterical!! So he rushes over and there she is pointing over to a wall SCREAMING " HE WAS RIGHT THERE THAT BEEDY EYED S.O.B. WAS RIGHT THERE!!! He told her he was on it and appreciated the help. As he was leaving he looked around and saw a piece of a cats tail and he thinks a piece of ear to. He didn't think he should tell her she was a pretty fiesty one and she was really rialed up.

He went over to see one of his o'l friends to go over the incident. Low and behold his pal had a new invention. He called it "Escape None". He seemed pretty proud of it. So Travolta gave it a try.

Heres Mr. Travolta in action. He puts his set in place with a little I Love You juice around and stands back and watch's. He brings his back up gun just in case.

And here he is. Mr. Travolta didn't make it . O'l beedy eyes snuck up behind him and bit him giving him rabies. O'l beedy eyes, being to small had his new found servant, fearful for his own life, batter, deep fry, and serve "THE MAN" Mr.Travolta up on a platter.

at the 2012 trapperman gathering in Kansas, leaving his tree and nuts, charlesks prepares his entry of fried possum ribs, in the road kill cookoff..

ttt

"The aliens have arrived, the aliens have arrive". "Lookie here, lookie here, I've found alien scat" Dingle, the underprivileged UFO enthusiast, was so excited.




I wasn't long before a picture, of the interesting alien, was obtained. No one had seen such a sight. What incredible intelligence it must require to transverse the universe to get to Earth.




The alien was taken to a secret compound. Strict measures were taken to ensure the safety of the alien; Guards were placed on the perimeter.




Fearing for the alien's safety, papers were checked for authenticity to ensure that only authorized personnel allowed to see the alien.





Bunk and Snick got together and tried to figure out a way to get at the alien. If they could just get at that thing they could make big money. They hired the local neer-do-wells, Bo and Hunk




Bo and Hunk were able to sneak in and get some urine from the alien. They knew that alien urine was a sure-fire attractant, guaranteed to catch any critter that came along. Lacking a suitable container to store the urine, they chugged down the 12 pack they kept in the glove box, and used the empty cans





Then, wouldn't ya know it, the government got involved. "Us'ns got us here one of thems secret decoder rings". "Ifn we can just decipher this contraption we can talk to the alien". "We's seen ET and we nos bout aliens"



Well, Bo and Hunk, after goin' through all of the trouble of getting the urine, had worked up an appetite. They decided that the alien looked pretty tasty. So not only did they take the urine, they took the alien, added a few onions, baked for an hour, and served up baked alien at the church social.

Once Upon A Time...
(to be continued)

-- Hal

oUnce their was a mountain man who was trapping beaver before ice-up .The injuns were just attackin' like raggin' savages.O'l cat claw cris lap.Who was blood kin to the kodiak bear that bit kit carson's behind.He was one of the best shooters west of the mississippi.HE wS PICKIN' THEM THUR INJUNS OFF with a .50 caliber hawkin's.The Blackfeet finally receded and cat claw was under outstanding releif.He had enough to do like makin' stretchers and settin' and runnin' marten and beaver traps. He had 36 on his willow beaver hoops.A total of 17 marten.Here in a couple days 'ol Ct claw was going to head to the Trapper Rendevous.He was gonna get him some squaws and have a good 'ol time!!!!!!!!



shoofly

If Hal can participate, I take it it's okay to enter if you're a professional writer? Just want to check.

It was a dark and stormy night...

(to be continued)

OK Cute

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I am caught up reading..........keep 'em coming.........and anyone can enter, even HAL !

:-)

I'll post prize pictures later on........... but they are good ones this time!

The Convention Fight

It all began the day that Jim Bob Thortan (a famous trapper that everyone knew) went to the biggest convention of they year. He had to pick up a couple dozen more snares here and he wanted to talk with his old friend Skippy.



When Jim’s wife found out that he had gone to this convention she was absolutely FURIOUS! She had told him for weeks and weeks prior that he was NOT to go to this convention, so once she had found out he had went to it she loaded up in her ’76 Volstwagon and was off to get to the bottom of this. Once there they got in a tremendous fight over the whole ordeal.



The fight became so intense that the other trappers there were forced to call the Military in to help solve the problem.



Once the fight was broken up the wife turned to her husband and told him that he was to get back to the house and get his stuff and then get out. So that’s what he did and after getting his stuff he decided he would stay with his good buddy’s house. Once he got there they decided to talk about the whole thing as his friend drank a pepsi.



Once they had talked all about the fight they decided that they had an even bigger problem on their hands…. They didn’t have enough food for the two of them and they decided that they would have to go out and find a way to get food. Well they went to one of their old fellow trappers that went by the nickname Oppos. He had a recording for them that he had made the prior season that would tell them all his secrets on how to trap the extremely prized opossum.



After listening to this they went out to lay steel and after a long and hungry night between the two of them they got up to check their traps the next morning. As they checked they ended up finding one of the very prized animals and took it home on their red four-wheeler.



Once home they began to think of different ways they could make this elegant animal into a meal so they first tried to make deep fat fried pieces of it. This was good, but it just didn’t seem to taste right.



They then took the last bit of opossum that they had left and decided that they would make it into a casserole which they both ate diligently until Jim’s wife decided to let him back into his house…. 3 weeks later.

You haven't posted the prizes yet. We're waiting! Hal wants to see the prizes first.

Miz

ggeeeeeeeez......FCOL !!!!!!!!!

tell Hal I'll try to get photos tomorrow of the prizes and get them posted by tomorrow night or maybe during my noon hour.....what a pain he is! He should write a story JUST for the love of literature.........

dont have a pic
it was feburay 8 07 and i had a live trap set for coon well it was out for 3 days i went to check it and i had a big coon i was so happy because it was my first coon of my first season and me being 11 it was so exciting

Hal said you got plenty of time tonight 3 or 4 hours or get up early tomorrow morning and post them!

Miz

1
The wind was blowing, the snow was snowing, it was blizzard conditions. But here in the tropics the weather was calm. "Mana taka weine laka wona", cried the four eyed street vendor. He was having a hard time selling his wares. "Mana taka weine laka wona", he begged. "Please buy my offerings, they're fat free".

8
"Hey, this stuff ain't bad" said the unsuspecting tourist. This was his first trip south of the Mason-Dayton Line, and he had no idea what to expect. So far he was the only one brave to try the offerings, but he saw an instant opportunity.

3
He knew of something that remotely resembled the weenie dish and he already had one, ready to go.

4

"I think we have a new opportunity here". We can make a fortune here, selling this "weenie" stuff." "With the right advertising we can become the new Burger King"

The local entrepreneurs were ready to go, setting through many planning sessions, working through intrinsicsies of opening a new business,


2

The local engineering firm of Rip and Screuis, sent their best surveyor to find a site suitable for a new franchise. Before long they found a site for a new franchise and the Grand Opening was planned



7
Shares of stock were sold in the new corporation. The initial offering was so overwhelming, (is there such a thing as whelming? Look It Up), that shares were offered on the open market for twice their initial offering.

6
Entertainment was lined up for the Grand Opening. The local magic act was hired to provide entertainment for the opening ceremonies. "Stare at the shiny, stare at the shiney, take out your wallet and stare at the shiney". It seems the entertainment hypnotized the new patrons and stole all their money.

5
The police were called. Barney and Festus, just coming off a good drunk, and getting some of the hair of the dog that bit them, were going to help the ripped off dinners get their money back.

They failed!

I don't give a hoot about any of the prizes other than the popcorn. I want popcorn, and I want pop corn for each story.

Well, it's significantly past noon here in the Eastern Time Zone -- and I don't see any prizes.

It won't be necessary for you to exhibit all the prizes. I'm only gonna write three or four stories, so if you want to display just the three or four top prizes, that'll be okay by me.

-- Hal

It was the year of 2020 pussums where taking over the world.

Not even the U.S. Army could stop these devils.

So trappers came to the rescue.

Here is a couple trappers planning there line.

Heres a couple of trappers celebrating a good day out on thier trap line.

Professional possum trappers from all over the world where asked to train other trappers to trap possums.


After months of trapping the trappers finally conquered the possums. Afterwards the trappers celebrated for weeks.

Obviously, this is another one of those hinky contests where the Sullivans get to enter as often as they'd like.

Jim

I ain't now storie righter, butt at leest I'm tring. Whear yours story?

Maybe Jimmy's fingers are frostbitten!

Miz

Ah, I see it all now.

It's a conspiracy to make me look like a fool. Sorry, I don't need any help. :-)

Jim

P.S. - Obviously, that rule was just made for Sullivans.

Do people shy away from your table at conventions?


Do they laugh at you at picnics?


Or in bars?


Does you wife only talk to you from a distance?
If you can say "yes" to any of these questions..then maybe you need to..


"EAT MORE POSSUM!!!"


"Thats right, Possum!!
"The other white meat"
Perfect, deep fried possum shanks with crow gizzards...


"...Or in a cassarole!!!"


So always remember what "Comrad Waldo" always says...
"You gotta fight for your right to possum!! lol

Where exactly are these prizes?

Do I detect an air of hinktification here?

-- Hal

;-( I've been shoveling snow !!!!!!!!!!!

I'll post 'em tomorrow I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, by the way, James.......you're right. :-)

now......the HP photo printer in the far back left, is NOT one of the prizes......nor is the green plant.......just the 15 little specialty items you see in the foreground......

among them.......

a coveted picture of Winnie, my cat
an xxl (not that big tho!) T-shirt with 2 deer carrying a hunter
a beautiful little vase
2 little cats
a special moooooooo cow
a little praying bear
some little bear thank you's and a birthday bear
a "honey do" hammer
a de-odor-izer
a broken Nascar mug
a discolored duck thing
and whatever else you see..........

keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep on writing, you have til Sunday nite!

ohhhhhh and by the way......some of these prizes are courtesy of cathryn from this forum.........thank you very much for your contribution!!!!!!!!

I want the printer.

-- Hal

geeeeeez. didn't you see my post? the printer is MINE! FCOL. you can get one for $100 at WallyWorld !

besides, IF you get a prize, Hal dear, it will be of MY choosing........as this time, I'm doing my own judging.....or I may have Crazy Eddy help me out.....

A new Law firm had just moved to town. Bendem & Over were going to open a new office and were looking for ways to get the word, of their arrival, out.



The firm of Wilmer & Associates was hired put together a show to draw in the crowds.




Just back from their audition on American Idol, the soon to be famous singing duo of Snuff Whuff Dad and The White Boy, were hired to entertain the expected throngs at the grand opening.




The response was overwhelming. The locals came to the party to celebrate having a new law firm in town and they brought along the bribes they knew were necessary to hire a lawyer.




The gastronomical delights that were prepared for the event were second to none. All of the guests were able to eat until full.



Except for the fried toad, great food was enjoyed by all. It seems the fried toad was a flop. The poor toad farmer couldn't even give away his wares.





Bendem & Over found a mascot to represent their law firm. They needed something the people could relate to. "We know that our clients are dumb as something and we need that "something" to represent our firm".




It didn't take the citizenry long to figure out that this law firm was just like every other law firm. By early the next morning Bendem & Over had been run out of town.

when the party was over they all went to the bar. a hop up good time was had until the summer equinox arrived. with daylight saving time there was not much time to get any sleep. all the batteries were dead and even the old farmer had used up all of his oil. he caught all the fish and then painted his barn?


everyone fell down and worshiped the king of the hill. what the hill the king said never will it be the same. every thing we had is lost and will never be regained. after they found the old horse skeleton while digging the pond the called the university but they said that none of it mattered anyway. there were ripples on the water but no wind and all the skipping stones had been skipped.


i can't understand this all. what ever happened to the fun we used to have? days gone by are just that days gone by. if you want anything you just gotta do it ya know it doesn't come easy. the great rum runners had their own tale, or was it tail. even all the ships had sailed and then he broke the guys jaw after he drew a pair of jacks


the cowboys, after a meal of beans at the chuck wagon, could no longer work for the tyrant. after all the trial and fury they hanged the judge but the spared the jury. no one asked the reason why sentenced passed they turned to die.


after much discussion, the clientele, they decide they would move. much discussion was involved and every one at least some maybe not all or one or two decided to just do something else, and then she laid her head down. the flowers grew without water but the snow melt helped. After that they dug a shallow grave and laid his body down.


when the big frezze came there was little anyone could do. there was only one pain and it was anna marie but she was broken. all the fuel had been used. all the food was gone. all that was left was shoe leather to eat. then the roof caved in. saint steven tried but nope. they couldn't see the rainbow for the rain.


buy then the train had been robbed and the safe had been blowen up or at least apart. they got the watch too and never found the body. by then it was a runaway train. just one more toke and will be there. and after the big search they were found in the cave. even steven was with them and they recovered the watch and fob



DOES ANYONE GET IT???



BYE

Is that a china cupboard in the Upper Left on the prizes photo?

I'd like to have that.

-- Hal

Didn't take to long for this to have hinky spilled all over it!!!

With eyes of green, and chestnut hair,the new, bride to be, was so happy. She had landed a man. There were so many things that needed to be prepared in anticipation of the big wedding




The authorites heard about the big event. All of the relatives had ben invited to the wedding. They knew about this caliber of people, and the type of vehicles they would be driving.Troopers had been set up to catch the unspecting guests driving unsafe vehicles to the wedding.




The subject of the best man came up. There were no men that amounted to much, anyway, so they had to figure what to do. It didn't take long, there he was in the head lights. They knew they had found the best man.



Guards were hired to protect the table for the gifts. A stern warning was given to all to place the gift on the table and then vacate the area. The guards knew the type guests that had been invited would steal any thing of value, and they took their job seriously.



The preacher was paid for his service. He was setting back enjoying the reception. Trying to fit in with the crowd, "Ya'll wanna chew of my Copenhagen", he asked the guests?



Finally the cake was brought in. "Sorry, I dropped it" the clumsy caterer said.



The guests didn't seem to mind. They had eaten things a lots worse than cake scraped off the floor.





And, as we all know, there is romance at weddings, and love is in the air. 4th cousins, once removed, Baldwin and Git, found each other. They never did have much luck with them wimmens' so they decided that maybe havin' a boy friend wasn't so bad. They became life partners.

what great stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhhh and K, no I don't!!!!!!!!

Stories, these?? this stuff?? LOL!!!!

Your bored or worse hinkified!!

wait till Gritty comes to Verminsnot to learn far reaching, then I'll have pictures for a story. LOL

The old miner was so happy. While beddin' a trap the lucky son-of-a-gun had struck gold.
"It's gold, it's gold, I've stuck gold" "Lookie the size of them nuggets" he said "No, not them nuggets, them one on the tray"



We need to hire protection. We need to protect our claim. The local militia was called in to protect the old prospectors claim. Using stealth and cunning they focused on their mission.



The locals were jubilant. Every one was celebrating. "Beer for all, beer for all" they cried. We're all gonna be rich. "We just gotta figure out how to get at that gold mine"



The local towns folk, Ivan and Elvin, had heard about them truffle smellin' pig what smelled them truffles while in the ground. After much thought as they could muster, about 10 seconds worth, they knew what to do.



Ivan and Elvin found themselves their own smellin' machine. They figured they could smell out them golds and be rich.



The local claim jumpers, Paco and Alphonso, stole Ivan and Elevin's gold smellin' machine and went prospectin'
"Gold, gold, look we found gold". "See it's shiny, it must be gold". With a little rubbin' it'll polish up real nice like. "The wimmen will like us and we'll be happy, and rich, for ever and for ever".




Them wimmen could hardly control themselves. They were so happy that they now had rich men. They started selling raffle tickets to come see their rich men. "Money goes to a good cause" they cried. "All proceeds go to the "finally found a rich man, gonna get my self stinkin' drunk, drinkin' fund".



Mean while, back at the ranch,

I can't believe this cake hasn't been polished off yet. It's been settin' here for better than a week.

NOT MUCH TIME LEFT NOW.......looks like the Sullivans have alot of stories here..........but several others are good too, I'll be back in awhile........... :-)

wow......I just did a count...and 25 "entries" are on here.......some are NOT stories tho, so those won't be eligible for a specialty prize........ :-)

but.......I'll do some thinking here.........

There ain’t no thinkin’ to it. I’ve made 4 submissions. If you wanna piddle around and decides who gets the last six prizes, go ahead, but the top four are mine.

And here’s another one I finished after the deadline. You’re lucky this dial up is slow to connect or you’d owe me five prizes.

-- Hal

CONTEST OVER...........yesssssssssss I understand, Mr Sullivan!!!!!!!

I'm a bit busy right now.....but tomorrow evening I'll post the winners and tell you all which addresses I need.....

(Sullivans, don't worry, I have yers......)

to everyone!!!!!

If there ain't no Snappy Brand, Movie Theater, butter flavor, gourmet, no cholesterol, lightly salted, microwave, popcorn (3.5oz (99g) bag), I withdraw all my entries.

I'll take his prizes then.

-- Hal

You have my address.

Kevin don't want no prizes. I'll take all his.

That should take care of all the prizes, and there's no sense in makin' these people wait until tomorrow to find out they ain't gettin' no prize.

Kinda got a little Sadist thing goin' on, ain't ya?

-- Hal

Mrscat, since you threw my voodoo doll off the roof and really messed up my shoulder you can mail the prizes to me. Thankyou very much.

I want all my prize money to go to the trapperman "Orphan and Wayward Girls Home".

first of all, there IS SNAPPY POPCORN available for Mr Sullivan K ........he deserves it for all his time spent on those WONDERFUL stories (well, except that one I have NO IDEA what he said........).........so he will ONLY be getting popcorn, per his own request. there will be NO prize money! FCOL!

Hal, your last story is great, as usual, but I'm not sure it was in under the wire......... :-) and I ain't doing any sadist thing FCOL again, and if you think so, you're in danger of NO prizes........ so you may wanna rethink that remark!

Nelly.......I think just because you're injured you're trying to play on my sympathies......and you know that little story you wrote was, well, less than you're capable of.......geeeeez......:-)

NOW, as I said......I'm busy watching MASH reruns, and I won't be able to get to this prize thing until tomorrow night....... thank you all for your time!

If there ain't no prize money, then obviously you don't care about the orphans and the knocked up girls.

I don't believe Hal wanted the HP Printer you mentioned, (which never did see), he wants the Lexmark that is in the picture.

Dennis

By the way, he wants you make it snappy too.

K - I care, just not as much as you, obviously. Maybe you'll share some of your snappy corn with them.

T.O.O. - leave it to the other one, to make a point of my printer error.......I do have a $500 HP here, and he can't have that one either. FCOL.

and I'll show him snappy! I'm working now, and will do the prize thing tonight in my FREE time. geeeeez.

impatient people must live in O-HI-O.

and, I concede, Hal, the last story WAS under the wire. 7:38 pm. and it WAS a good one. I'm going to go broke buying freaking prizes.

What's gonna happen to all those prizes Kevin doesn't want? You might as well just send them to me. Those stories of mine are sooooo good, they really deserve two prizes anyway.

And I don't care which one of the printers you send me -- your choice.

If you hurry, you can still get my prizes in the mail by this afternoon.

-- Hal

is my story good?

i think its funny and original

coontrapper, don't you worry, you're on the list somewhere..... :-)

Hal......geeeeez. patience is a virtue, don't you wish you had some?

it would be a sad shame, if a guy who gets PAID to write, sopposedly funny articles, and doesnt win this thing...

charles

That's why I've got a lock on it.

-- Hal

Oh boy, ol Hinky comes crawling in just in time for a contest, imagine that!!!!!!!!!!!

okkkkkkkkkkk I'm going to make a NEW post with the winners............watch for it shortly! :-)

Paul.......please put this in the HUMOR ARCHIVES.........for preservation.............

and thanks to ALL who wrote something!

When entering a writing contest, a contestant is wise to use correct spelling and punctuation. That’s always a plus.

I see we have some new whiners.

Miz