Is that your breath or your armpits?

If you a gonna be stupid you better be tough

She ain't much to look at but I'm no showdog myself

That's cooler than Jack Frost

I'm using that this Friday. Guaranteed.

New one I just heard,

she talked so much it would give a wood pecker a head ache

Or "your a** is grass and the civil court's the lawn mower"

Old coon hunting buddy of mine used to say " fat chicks are like a moped ! Fun to ride but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one ! " I personally have no knowledge on ether subject .

"I'd like to pay what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth."


"So hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider."

So hungry I could eat the south end of a north bound mule.

If you don't have any thing to do,go do it some place else.

I've read so many of these, its kind of like screwing a skunk, I didn't get all I wanted, but I got all I could stand.

Harder than pushing a chain across the yard.

Like herding cats.

Ugly enough to gag a maggot!

"Busier than a 1 eyed cat watching 9 rat holes."

So ugly when he was little they had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him.
So ugly when she cried the tears ran down the back of her head.
So ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water.
So slow he has to speed up to stop.
So buck-toothed can eat peanuts out of a pop bottle.

Ugly enough to make a train take a dirt road

You better wrap that attitude up boy or serve it with PB&J and Vaseline . Because your gonna either eat those words or I'm going to shove them up your A$$

You look like I need a beer

Like bein in a sword fight with a pocket knife.

Busier than a cat trying to bury S*** on concrete!

It rattles like two skeletons doing it on a tin roof.