Smelled bad enough to give a buzzard the dry heaves.

When someone farts: "Waht did that a-hole just say to me? Is he talkin crap behind my back?

she got legs just like i like em, feet on one end, babymaker on the other

She was squealin like a pig caught under a fence...

WITAF??

Lmao! Hi, wire. Witaf!!!

Like wipen your as with a wagon wheel, don't make no sense!!

Drunker than a pet bear, twice as mean!!

Grandpa always tells granny when she's talkin to much that her gums are flappin like a gooses bill in a ducks as!!!

Windy as a sack of farts!!

When someone says whats up, you say hard diks and airplanes!!

Try this at home!!

And grannies favorite when she's had a little to much tea (Jim Beam) #hit the f-ing bed!!!

"Smilin like a butchers dog"

"Nice girl, but she's about as bright as a wet sack of mice"

Hung like a half eatin tic tac!!

I'll put a knot on your head it will take a gallon of iodine to cover

It will be better befor you are married twice

knock a fart outa you slicker then a whistle out of a freight train

just cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't make em biscuits.

shaking like a dog trying to pass a peach pit

when some one gets mouthy

you go over there and practice falling down i'll be over in a second to deal with you!

Cleaner than a duck fart.

Hears good just don't listen worth a chit!

" that will learn ya "

So hungry I could eat the a$$ end of a mule.

I ain't saying she's ugly, but if she was a dog she'd walk backwards and wag her head.

That dude is as sharp as the edge of town.

Closer than 2 bears on a moped.

Dropped that in there like a butterfly with sore feet!