We had a perfectly normal inquiry about squirrel removal, so we booked the appointment. But when our technician arrived at the

customer's residence, he discovered that "things" were slightly off. She showed them the bricks she kept under her bed because

that's where the squirrel lived and she could hear his tail "swish" against the wall when ever he left. But when he got to the

door he would crawl underneath the carpeting and travel under there. ( Even though the carpeting was nailed down ) He also lived in

the attic so she put apples soaked in kerosene up there. ( Here comes my favorite part ) Since the apples weren't working, she

baked a peanut butter and anti-freeze pie and put that up there too. So how many squirrels are we going to catch on this job?

Just the one, but the cops might not like it if you haul her away. LOL

Lol big bob

We need a thread on the craziest customer you have ever had. Maybe write a book and include all the stories....LOL

Dude she has ghosts not squirrels She needs an exorcist!

I had a customer In construction once who needed her plaster repaired because the roofers put so many shingles on it cracked the walls. It wasn't that she was a hoarder that had stacks of books, magazines and newspapers stacked five feet high everywhere except the paths through the house, including the staircase.

Then she said when we came to fix the plaster she wanted us to take off some of the vinyl siding to see if the roofers stole the original yellow pine siding be size it is valuable (they took all the siding off, then the yellow pine then re sheathed it and put the vinyl siding on when she left for the day). Oh and she is sure they switched her door to cause it is only five years old and the one on now has some rust on it. What a wack job.

Then her laser called me to see when I would give home the quote. I said sorry to busy not gonna quote. What a crook he was filing suits that would go no where and taking her money for his services

I have not had one of those in a long time LOL last one saw smoke coming up from the carpet as the squirrel was chewing!!!! that is while the cop and I are standing there looking at her seeing or hearing nothing LOL I asked in a low voice what are we going to do now. he replied I don't know what your going to do LOL Thank God the sister was there also and I turned it over to her and got out of there with the cop still there.

I get one like that every year. Sometimes customers are just so danged creepy I get back in my truck and drive away.

Set a trap, you know there's a squirrel there since you already found the nut!

Set a trap, and take a dead squirrel with you. That might sort her head and and you can earn a couple of $$

Had a man call me one time that wanted me to cage trap some beaver and bring them to his property. He wanted them to "dig him a pond"! Had to explain to him how beaver actually work and just told him I couldn't help him out. He was kinda out there.lol

I had a lady that wanted me to release some
Bats in her house because they would eat the
Flies and Mosquitos that get in her house lol
Takes all kinds to make the world go round!!

Way too much typing for me to tell some stories that I have had in my days.

Every now and then you will need to use your major in Psychiatry and know the needed actions to deal with some of these calls. Just comes with our line of work at times.

Just had one last week with a gal who insisted she had a bird mite/microbe issue. Crawling everywhere in the house and on her body.

Three or so companies later she calls us with the same story. You would think after the first 3 service calls she would get to thinking she was nuts like her husband said she was.

Another fruit cake!

The mouse crawling up her kitchen door up across the window pane of the door and leaving invisible foot prints. See the foot prints they are right there cant you see them. Then the mouse opens the refrigerator at night and poops on her baking soda box after it eats her left overs. See, see right there that's its poop on the box top.

I mean you cant make this stuff up.:)

I have carried more then a few dead birds, rodents etc. hidden in a bag or pocket into a job only to miraculously come out with it in a trap or box to try to get some closure in these situations if I feel it applies. I actually charge more for these cases since I have to really think hard as to how to resolve the issue.

This isn't unique to our profession. Once you start dealing with the public you're going to get the crazies. The crazies come in many flavors. Dealing with the public is the best and worst part of this job.

I do enjoy the elderly customers who have invisible birds in their home. I carry 9 volt batteries for those jobs. No charge.

Here is a story about the craziest customer I ever had. He is /was a well respected business owner locally, now passed on, so I don't have a problem telling this. I knew the guy had a drug problem, but never realized how bad, till I went to his home to help remedy a "minor" rat issue. When I got there, his upscale home looked like a combination between a hoarders paradise and a landfill. There was garbage and rotting food everywhere, and in the piles of garbage were dead rats,all in various stages of decomposition, from the D-Con he had been applying. He met me at the door wearing a yellow rain coat and hat, a pair of hip waders, and carrying a pitch fork. This was many year's ago, and when he handed me a handful of Ben Franklins, he had my full attention. I asked him where the live rats were, and he told me "in the ceiling, can't you hear them ?" as he proceeded to run around the room, stabbing the ceiling with that pitchfork, trying to kill them I guess. He was doing a fine job of tearing the sheetrock up.....I knew he was crazy, and wanted to get the heck out of there, but I took his money, so I better make an attempt to help him....I asked him what he wanted me to do, and he asked me to set some coon size cages in the garbage piles in his kitchen, which I did. I also cleaned up the carcasses that were exposed and removed them, and suggested a local pest control company, that could legally apply rodenticides and maintain them, which I could not. We left the cages for about a week, I called and checked with him daily, finally he said he was happy, there was no further problem with the rats, and I could retrieve my cages anytime, which I did. Before leaving he thanked me, gave me a couple more hundreds, and we parted company, never did talk to him again. True story, he was one of the craziest S.O.B's I ever run into in my life, but he sure paid well.

Wow, those are mind-boggling. Only thing I can think of right now is the gal who had "crickets" in her 2nd-story stairwell, middle of winter. Smoke alarm, of course.
Had lots and lots of folks who didn't understand what they were dealing with, or exaggerated situations; out-and-out lulu, none come to mind.

I had a very flamboyant fella call with " some kind of wild animal?" In his basement, his "partner" saw it and it was black and furry and 3-4' long. I wasn't even sure what to load in my truck for this so I at least took a buddy for help right?? Long story short it was a young of the year black squirrel. I was so glad I brought a witness...we laugh all the time about that place.

Pulled up in a yard to check some mole traps in a nice subdivision I work in. Had a guy come out of a house screaming at me wanting to know what I was doing. Told him checking the mole traps. He wanted to know why I didn't announce myself and told him because I had an arrangement with the homeowner. Well, he kept screaming so I left. Then he called me still screaming, let him vent but he wouldn't calm down. I called the property association president and said I didn't feel comfortable leaving traps in the yard. She said to call the sheriff and go get them which I thought was good advice and did. He was just as agitated in front of the sheriffs but I got my traps and left. A couple of hours later she called me to make sure I was all right. I was fine, why? House was swarming with riot police. Found out later he committed suicide that night.

Dang Bob, did he see your bill? LOL! Some people just cant take a joke.

I really detest suicide. The people who kill themselves feel that they're doing everyone they know a favor. If they could attend

their own funerals they would see that they usually just doubled the misery. Not everyone is Adolph Hitler.

Having a family member or close friend kill themselves is pretty devastating. My Dad did in 2004. 84 yrs old, ww2 vet, the whole shebang. He had a couple of strokes, and didn't want to be a bother to anyone, so he shot himself with my gun.

I first felt like it couldn't have happened. He was a solid rock, and he couldn't die. The funeral home was surreal. Then I felt angry, at him for robbing my sons of the opportunity to get to know all the stories he had told me. I honestly felt that his close friend had shot him at his request. He was shot 2 times, once in the chest and once in the head. His friend showed up at the house every day and hung out with him, but never showed up at the funeral. What difference does it make? Dead is dead, who cares who pulled the trigger? Looking back, it would take one heck of a strong bond to do that for someone.

Its been almost 11 years now and the sting has gone away. I feel now that the guy lived a good life, worked hard, fought hard, and deserved to go out the way he wanted to. Who was I to criticize the manner in which he did it. Kicking on the floor for a minute, or rotting away staring at a wall for 5 years taking a kazillion meds. I feel like I was being a little (ALLOT) selfish in the early years judging how or when the old boy went. He never feared death, or bullets for that matter. But after seeing what it put me and my family through, I couldn't do that to my kids.The best I can hope for is a quick, sudden death. But until then, live every day like it's your last, and have fun with it!

Probably ruined the mood of the thread but he fit the definition of "if I knew ahead of time..."

Thanks for sharing, Mike, not an easy thing to go through. The viewpoint you have come to might help others on either side of the situation.

Now days I tell people you are never too old to shoot a gun. My dad hit bulls eyes up till the day he died. Sounds like a joke he would have told. LOL!

My daughter gets a call today. "Hey, you guys get raccoons out of fireplaces and under decks and stuff, don't you?"

My daughter: "Yes we do. How can we help you?"

Customer: "Well it's not a raccoon problem. Granny crawled in a hole in the porch and won't come out."

My daughter: "Pardon me. Who did what?"

Customer" My grandmother crawled into this opening in the porch and we can't get her out."

Granny, very faintly in the background: "I told you, I ain't comin out."

My daughter: "I'm sorry, we only do animals. You need to contact the proper authorities."

My daughter: "I think that was a prank."

Me: "I don't. I didn't hear anybody laughing."

I have an interview process which I use to weed out the weirdos. My series of questions are designed to draw out as much information as I can about the conflict between this person and the pest. Too many kooks out there to rush out, hoping to make money on every call.

Please share a couple of the most telling questions.

I always sound like I'm trying to get out of the job I think. I ask" What makes you think you have an animal problem?" Then somehow I get the answers I need instead of stories that go back 4-5 years.

What is a comfortable amount of jobs to have going per day I know there are some jobs that will require more time. But on average what is a good number to have active per day. ( new leads and trap checks). With the exception of time to set traps how long do you average talking to customers on first visit

Thx again guys SORRY WAS TRYING TO START NEW THEEAD

Its not the work or the amount of jobs, its the windshield time between jobs that makes for a long day.

What Mike said. M. Trappin, logistics prevent me from scheduling more than three starts in a day; "pickups" are done as possible. WC does not lend itself very much to scheduling. There are times I go for three weeks without a day off.

Had a Pakistani ask me to remove the squirrel and it's eggs from his attic.

Had a guy that insisted there was a HUGE snake in his attic. He was deathly afraid of snakes. It was a raccoon.

Had an old lady that had half a dozen bats flying around inside the living area, every day, every night, all year long. Had to leave the lights on and hadn't slept in years. Of course the house was as tight as could be, no evidence at all of a bat. As she was getting me cash, I noticed a list of meds she was on, on her fridge door. One of them was a hallucigenic (I wrote them down and looked them up later). I called a competitor when I left and told him about the situation. He said he had already been there and she was a looney tune. Just old and on meds that made her see things.

I got the crazy monitor app for my i phone,,,,,,work great unless I put it in my pocket..

I was thinking about getting that new "Identiodor" app for my IPhone. You just hit the button, and it tells you what lives in the attic from the smell of the urine or some particulate thingey or something like that.

I was looking at that "hasnodough" app that identifies people you're going to have trouble collecting the entire bill from. We

already have an app that won't let us start without the service call. That's the "nomoneynostarty" app. Made in China.

Every call is different due to all of the different pests.
What I need to know from them is whether the damage being caused exceeds the cost of the solution.
1) Describe the damage for me.
2) Have you seen what is causing it?
3) What have you tried to do yourself?
4) How long has it been a problem?
By the time they answer these questions, I will have an idea what the estimated cost will be, and I will share that with them.
You need to hit them with a price in order to weed out the folks who cannot believe that I "don't do it for free."

The feel of the initial conversation gives up allot. It's hard to tell an exact bid on some animals, (Bats, snakes, mice) So I can give an average.

If I get the feel that they are do it your selfers, and cheep, Ill offer a personal phone coaching session. E-mail me some pics from all four corners of the home, and then we can talk about where I need more pics. Once I'm ready, Ill tell them which paypal account to send money to, and get them scheduled.

Today one of our customers called and apologized for the fact that we haven't received her payment yet. She put the check in the

envelope and addressed it to herself and mailed it. And that's exactly who the mailman delivered it to.

In other news, a brand new, very large, home for alzheimer's patients is going up less than half a mile from our house. It certainly

brings me peace of mind not to have to worry about housing in my old age. ( Someone already put me on the waiting list )

Mike:
I have had the same thing in years past. My brother and next door neighbor did the same thing. I have always looked at it this way, they made the choice, they did what they wanted to do. At least it was not done by some gang banger on a street corner. It is tragic when people that do not want to die get shoot and die. I miss them both and think about the often. I just feel they took the trip they wanted to take.

?

He's talking about suicide, Big Bob.

Yeah, I got that, had to reread all the post's again to see where it fit in. Must have touched a nerve for him.

Had a customer call twice in the middle of the night to come and catch her raccoon because traps won't work and it's gotta go NOW!

So my wife tells me we were there in October, the raccoon either left or got run over and now she's obviously got another one.

So our technician calls a little while ago and tells us she was adamant about someone going in the attic and catching it, SO HE DID!

I did that in D.C. one time. Double the price in cash, and ya got a deal!