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Mom in a Box #4439962
04/19/14 09:27 PM
04/19/14 09:27 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Phil Nichols Offline OP
trapper
Phil Nichols  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
My Mom, Elizabeth passed April 2nd. We were in NC buying a house when I got the word. My sisters handled the details at that time. Today, I got a box from the post office and upon opening found a 'Hefty 2X STRONGER SEAL' baggie, containing her ashes. This was a surprise. She wanted to go into the ocean. I am not looking for any sympathy. Any one have spread their Mom or other loved one's ashes on the ocean?

I feel comfortable posting this here.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4440001
04/19/14 10:04 PM
04/19/14 10:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 25,429
Georgia
warrior Offline
trapper
warrior  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 25,429
Georgia
No, I'm sorry for your loss. It hits kind of close as my mother is still in recovery from the Whipple procedure for pancreatic cancer. The prognosis is good but it's still pancreatic and watching her grow more feeble has really affected me.
We don't do the ashes thing. My people are laid out side by side generation by generation and to rest among family has a certain comfort. Of course it comes with a duty to live a life that should not discredit those who will welcome me when my time comes.


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Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4440069
04/19/14 10:56 PM
04/19/14 10:56 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 497
PA
P
pick65 Offline
trapper
pick65  Offline
trapper
P

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 497
PA
Phil:
The inside back cover of the DU magazine had an article called
"CLOSING TIME" which dealt with this item.

Where as the husband passed and he ask that his ashes be spread over
the waters where he hunted ducks, EPA said "no way"! So the widow ask his
hunting buddies to solve the problem. At the end of each hunt they each shot
a shell or two over the waters and spread their friends ashes, since the shot
in the shells where substituted with his ashes.

pick65

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: pick65] #4440100
04/19/14 11:22 PM
04/19/14 11:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Phil Nichols Offline OP
trapper
Phil Nichols  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Thanks Jerry. I want to send Elizabeth's ashes to the deep.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4440250
04/20/14 05:58 AM
04/20/14 05:58 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
NE, NC
B
Big Bear Wildlif Offline
trapper
Big Bear Wildlif  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
NE, NC
Phil, I was in on two ashes of loved ones that my father and I helped with. The folks had a minister each time and just two or three family. We did make sure the wind was off the Starboard side before committing the ashes to the Port side. It's what I want to happen over my fishing grounds , but I worry the wife will just dump me on the beach. If you don't know of anyone with a boat to do it, I know any charter boat will help. Sorry for your loss.

Last edited by Big Bear Wildlif; 04/20/14 05:59 AM.

Be Green, Buy Fur.
NE- NC
Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4440261
04/20/14 06:16 AM
04/20/14 06:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 843
NH
S
sgs Offline
trapper
sgs  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 843
NH
Twenty years ago we spread my brothers ashes out in the Gulf of Maine, one of his favorite places.

Sorry for your loss Phil.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4440628
04/20/14 11:08 AM
04/20/14 11:08 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,590
SW Pa
B
Bob Jameson Offline
trapper
Bob Jameson  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,590
SW Pa
Sorry to hear of your loss Phil.Your mom passed on my birthday.

Passing of a loved one is always a loss and a difficult transitional time in our lives. My mother and dad are still living at 93 but they are both losing ground.

It is not an easy time in life to experience and witness such things for any of us. As far as the disposition of the ashes I would do what your moms wishes may have been. No need to discuss anything with anyone in my opinion. Whose to know what you will do with them.That is a personal and private matter for each of us to handle in a way we all feel will suit us.

We had my motherinlaws ashes in a box in my basement for sometime before the brothers and sisters decided what they wanted to do with them. I think they eventually took them to the grave site of the father and dug a hole there and deposited them there.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Bob Jameson] #4442235
04/21/14 05:29 PM
04/21/14 05:29 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Phil Nichols Offline OP
trapper
Phil Nichols  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Originally Posted By: Bob Jameson
Sorry to hear of your loss Phil.Your mom passed on my birthday.

Passing of a loved one is always a loss and a difficult transitional time in our lives. My mother and dad are still living at 93 but they are both losing ground.

It is not an easy time in life to experience and witness such things for any of us. As far as the disposition of the ashes I would do what your moms wishes may have been. No need to discuss anything with anyone in my opinion. Whose to know what you will do with them.That is a personal and private matter for each of us to handle in a way we all feel will suit us.

We had my motherinlaws ashes in a box in my basement for sometime before the brothers and sisters decided what they wanted to do with them. I think they eventually took them to the grave site of the father and dug a hole there and deposited them there.


Thanks Bob. Edith says hi. Just found out that each of us siblings got a box of ashes. With no advance notice or eplanation. So the funeral director did a 3 way split on the ashes - oh well.

Last edited by Phil Nichols; 04/21/14 05:30 PM.
Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4442334
04/21/14 07:02 PM
04/21/14 07:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,165
Central NC
T
traprjohn Offline
trapper
traprjohn  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,165
Central NC
Sorry Phil.

I spread Dad along the trails he hiked on our farm.


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Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4442356
04/21/14 07:16 PM
04/21/14 07:16 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 20,966
St. Louis Co, Mo
B
BigBob Offline
trapper
BigBob  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 20,966
St. Louis Co, Mo
Sorry for your loss.
I'm reminded of a story I saw on the news somewhere, about how survivers of the Battleship Arizona have a special ceremony, where Navy divers drop there cremated remains into the ship at Pearl Harbor, so they can be with their shipmates forever.


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Remember Bowe Bergdahl, the traitor.

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Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4442378
04/21/14 07:38 PM
04/21/14 07:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,361
mequon, wisconsin
P
Paul Winkelmann Offline
trapper
Paul Winkelmann  Offline
trapper
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,361
mequon, wisconsin
I guess my take on death is a little different. Whenever I see someone kneeling and looking down at a grave site, I always feel that they're looking in the wrong direction. Whenever I want to talk to my folks, I look up.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: BigBob] #4442998
04/22/14 08:58 AM
04/22/14 08:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Phil Nichols Offline OP
trapper
Phil Nichols  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Originally Posted By: BigBob
Sorry for your loss.
I'm reminded of a story I saw on the news somewhere, about how survivers of the Battleship Arizona have a special ceremony, where Navy divers drop there cremated remains into the ship at Pearl Harbor, so they can be with their shipmates forever.


I saw that too. It is a very moving ceremony.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4450797
04/27/14 08:29 PM
04/27/14 08:29 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
peru,in.
S
shanenye Offline
trapper
shanenye  Offline
trapper
S

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
peru,in.
my dad made it clear that his were to be spread at golf coarse on hole he got his hole in one. a year after he passed,we followed his wishes. feels better knowing his remains are were he wanted.you dont need a stone to remind you of a loved one, they re not there. when im missing talking to my grandpa, i grab 1 of his guns from the safe and hit the fields, the range or just oil it up.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4455317
04/30/14 06:48 PM
04/30/14 06:48 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
Phil Nichols Offline OP
trapper
Phil Nichols  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 700
Chocowinity, NC
I just found out the funeral director divided her ashes by three. Two bags went to my sisters, and one to me. Well, you're always learning something. My sister in Seattle is spreading her bag of Mom into the Puget Sound. My other sister in MD is leaning toward Chincoteauge. I will put my share of Mom in the Atlantic ocean on our next trip to the gulf stream.

Re: Mom in a Box [Re: Phil Nichols] #4460833
05/04/14 04:19 PM
05/04/14 04:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 24
New Hampshire
Coondog6 Offline
trapper
Coondog6  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 24
New Hampshire
I have had friends who spread their parents ashes. They got their family together and celebrated their lives.


The measure of a man is what he will do when he knows he won't get caught.

Coondog6
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