She's about as dingy as a sack of hammers

then I called her a two bit wh0re and then she hit me with a sack o'quarters

nuttier than an outhouse on a peanut farm

More irritating than a dog peeder gnat!

Harder than woodpecker lips!

More worthless than a screen door on a submarine.

I think this is the best.....after an emergency trip to the toilet....

Lmao! That's even nuttier than a squirrel turd!

crazier than a six pecKered billy goat

Windier than a sack full of [Please excuse my language... I'm an idiot]holes.

He aint afraid of hard work,he'll get right up close and watch.

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

She's uglier than a mud fence.

That saying right there is cornier than deer poop!

He's so short he has to stand on his tip toes just to peak outta his sneakers.

He could play handball against a curb.

Busier than a 2 peckered billy goat during breeding season.

Her cookin' shoots through my colon faster than a Japanese bullet train.

His Indian name is "5 Dimes" cause he's only "Half a buck"

I taught that kid everything I know about trappin' and he still don't know nuthin'.

They call him blister,always showing up after the work is done.
After an old man rips one he says 'That's gonna itch when it dries'

Ya know, if she was a blonde at least she'd have an excuse.

Grinin like a dead hog in the sunshine.

He's a couple fries short of a happy meal. It fits like a ruby in a goats _ss

"I'm finer than frog hair split seven ways." "That cart is a few bricks shy of a full load." "I went to college, to the school of Hard Knox to be exact."

Speaking of an arrogant screw ball....I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he THINKS he's worth.

If confidence was nickels... you'd be a rich man.

Uglier than a bucket full of smashed asholes