Hold the phone!

You're purdier than a speckled pup in a red wagon

Fuller than a tick in summertime

You're slower than molassas

Oh,John Brown!

Funner than kicking a dog
Tim B

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy

chicken one day and feathers the next, sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you

If it don't challenge ya, it won't change ya.

I'll mess you up worse than a possum humpin a lizard !

"That thing's so wore out you can throw a cat through it!!"

"That tree's got so many nuts on it a family of squirrels couldn't shell'em all!!"

"Quit complaining.....just throw it in the truck!!"

"Don't worry 'bout that mudhole just go!! I put a NEW set of Buckshot Mudders on her last week!!"

"SHOOT!!!! One of us needs relief!!"

...........y'all are just getting me started!!

I'll mess you up worse than a possum humpin a lizard !

...."You show me a 3-year old running around a flea-market in his diaper sucking Coca-Cola out a of baby bottle and I'll show you a future Nascar fan!!"...........

he couldnt hit a cows $$$ with a hand full of rocks at 10 yrds
colder than a well diggers $$$
slower than methusila
looks like joe jack the rag mans work
sharp as a marble
dumber than dirt
dumber than a box of rocks
and the aunt dotty special that tastes so good makes you want to slap your mama

......"That boy is sharp as a sack of wet mice!!".....

......"That dog is slicker than wet liver!!"..........

Sweating like a pregnant Nun going to confession.

........."Y'all gonna eat all of that??"......

......."Your sister sure can milk a cow good!!"......

......."How many chickens will it take to clean that up??"......

Slicker n goose poop in a tin horn.

ain't had this much excitement since grandma got her teet caught in the washing machine wringer
haven't had this much fun since the old sow ate my kid brother
women! if you know one a little bit, you know them all pretty good
he can't tell sheet from apple butter unless he tastes them both
RR

Can't believe I sat here and read the whole 10 pages of this.

I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I first got here.

Zim

Dont know how many times I have heard the 2nf one

Hotter than Michael Jackson at a cub scout convention.
Sweating like Mike Tyson taking the SAT's
Shaking like a dog poopin peach pits
Hotter than a raped ape

Boy! have all the fun you can have when you can, cause once your dead your gonna be dead for a long time (courtesy of my grandma's brother, Uncle Jack)
RR

Confused as a woodpecker in a petrified forest.