Bill, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.



Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.



One day, the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Bill, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."



"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."



''Well good. You are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"



''They said, 'Good morning, General, can I get you coffee, sir?''

LOL! Didn't see that one coming!

lol I enjoyed that one!

LOL,that's funny.

that's funny !!

Neither did I but I should have known because the guy who emailed me the joke has a love for this kind of twist.

Bet a lot of mothers would like to have this guy pull rank on their kids.


As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."

Ha!

haha those both are goods haha lol